cRabbydAily

Feeling sweet. Satisfied.

2006-06-30T23:01:00.000+08:00

Into 8 months now. E feeling have come and go but nw i cn say that the feeling is still growing. Our frenship too. Many ppl had asked me to tell him hw im feeling while some ppl asked me drop e whole idea altogether. Well, Im thinking that mayb, this kind of rslp is better? Ya..some people say that its stupid, playing mind guessing games like that but well, i still wan to understand him more and i dont wan to spoil this feeling i have now.
Frens, mayb things might remain like this forever but im satisfied. So long as we stay in contact, can laugh and smile together, Im satisfied.
Today, may n enting say that even he ask me out, i wont go out oso. Hmm...I realli appear so rigid ar? Im quite shock by wat they say. But...i tink true. I mean i will think twice before ans him. Wat if its a joke? A prank? Somemore i feel uncomfortable going out with guys. Im nv comfortable to be frank, there mus b some gals around.
Well, project crashing but he gave me the motivation. Thanz. Feeling sick. Arghhhh. I wan to recover quickly. Pls.
Night everyone.

Peak of yr2 sem1. Happy angry crazy day.

2006-06-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

Seriously, Im going crazy. Crazy at hw things starts to crash into all e same day. Project due on Mon. Other classes jus need to hand in report but onli our class need to hand in report and slides. Blame it on myself on taking everything down n keep dragging n dragging till e deadline. Im realli dying. I wanna scold ppl, cry n scream yet i cn do none of this. Im owas e one taking care of ppl? Mayb but when cn ppl take care of me?
Seriously, im abit pissed nw. Dunno y or mayb for some reasons, im nt going to say it here.
Lots n lots of thing happen today. Angry, Stressed, Crazy, Happy n sick too, still have to rush that stupid project. Everything mixed in one day. No mood to state everything here.
Bye eveyone

A good afternoon

2006-06-28T20:54:00.000+08:00

Sch had reopen for 3days now n im still in holiday mood, gaming n going sch for the sake of going. Projects are piling up n i still haven do anything to them yet. I think these few days, i mus chiong till siao le. Well, gt back 2paper le, EC n AAA...haha, i tink its not bad? EC gt 82% n AAA gt 93.5%. AAA was quite a disappointment cos shld nt keep seeing shuai ge when doing the paper de. Haiz...but lucky still manage to keep it in e 90s range. Yeah.
I had a good afternoon. After AAA lect, went Canteen 2 for yu pian mi fen. A big serving tt may n enting cannot finish em. As usual, i finished whatever food is served in a plate or bowl. After lunch, went library to do project.
Time to start on the report and i manage to finish only half a page of the report, the background of BreadTalk. After that, mental block. Seriously dunno how to fill in the findings and research into the report, have to find ways to fill them in and organise them in a proper manner. After doing the short little part of the report, started chatting onlie.
Him. A week since i contact him. Howeva, this time, it feels so different. Mayb for the both of us, we knew stuff n we jus keep it to ourself. Yet, i tink its a good thing cos im more daring in expressing myself this time n nt afraid that hes thinking nonsense. One thing im worried is that, i gt my hopes too high again and i have to fall heavy.
Still hopes wasnt such a bad thing right? I mean if hes wasnt e one then let him be. I mean its like im still on board on e bus which i cnt c e destination. One day when i noe where to go and what bus to take, i will alight from this bus and board a new one which cn bring me to the destination. All i can do is to wait...
So not a bad day after all. Thanz to him. So hope everyone will have a good day n night oso.

Tired--Maple

2006-06-27T20:39:00.000+08:00

These few days have been playing maple. Not so much for the maple craze but jus sian n play. Somemore i created a new acc so have to choing, reali cannot tahan being so lousy. This time, my character mus b better than my previous one. I have e confident tt i can do it.
Slept at 3plus last night and i nearly could not get out of bed. Eyes are heavy and wet, signalling me that i did not have a peaceful and ample sleep. Haiz...Dragged myself out of bed and feed myself with a bottle of chicken essence to perk me up for the morning. The tiredness is driving me crazy.
The chicken essence showed its effect almost immediately cos i did not yawn until noon. For the whole morning, i was super duper hyperactive which reasons are unknow..ahahaha. Make myself abit xia suai in e lect hall today cos im realli noisy. Surprisingly, i did talk to wensong. Ahaha...issit tt im being polite or jus dont wan to create awkwardness? When did i eva bcom so kind?
Saw em at a coop. I now know how to read signals from Enting and had oso learnt to act normal. I guess i didn flash my best smile to em, jus wave to say hi, for the sake of politeness. I greeted everyone this time. To prevent people from complaining, budden gt this one stupid guy ignore me totally...dao.
After lect, lunch n project. Didn contibute much for project as e chicken essence effect is wearing off n im half dead. Jus lie there and try to have a nap... a realli short one. After that, crapping time. Hahaha...but nice time crapping la. Ahaha.
Went jp n library and borrowed 2 books. Vow to finish em ^^. Not a bad day after all. Enjoy the days. Night everyone.

Tagged

2006-06-25T20:56:00.000+08:00

Recently have been doing this. But well, nvm. Have been rather down recently, so i jus cut short everything K? Hahaha

Favourites
Favourites colours= Grey, orange, blue, pink, white
Favourites food= Anything so long as it is not too oily n spicy
Favourites Song= Hmm..so long as it is in cantonese.
Favourites Movie= V long ago de movie, moulin rouge.
Favourites Sport= Swim, Bball
Favourites Day= Weekends
Favourites season= Every seaon have its unqiueness
Favourites ice cream= COOkies and cream

Current
Current mood: Neutral.
Current taste: Neutral
Current Clothes : Pajamas. =X
Current Desktop: My Lappy
Current time: 21 00 pm
Current surrounding: my own room
Current annoyances: my vulnerability towards him

Firsts
First best fren: Qian Yi!!
First crush: Too many. Forget already
First Movie: If i didn rmb wrongly, flintstones
First Lie: Lied too many times. Forget already
First music= Twinkle twinkle little stars

K, all for today. But today mood is rather good. I mean family owas make me forget all those stupid stuff. Night everyone.

Will he noe? Give up or not?

2006-06-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

Did i ever say that i hate e feeling of liking someone n needing someone? Its like u have e feeling of loosing urself as u sink deeper n deeper. These few days, i tink i let myself sink so deep that i tink he mus have find me irritating. I almost forget that im jus his frens. Now everything had turned into this way, theres no way but to give up everythig. Suddenly, Im jus so tired of myself being like this and playing this stupid hide n seek game. He too is a big idiot. If he know, den he jolly well tell me so, to keep on liking him or jus say goodbye. Dont keep me waiting, wat for being so wishy washy over things. Im getting more n more impatient with him n now i tink, time to say bye bye to him. I dont wan keep guessing n waiting for things to happen. Im seriously quite unhappy at hw things goes this way.
I tink im dead. Letting his fren come close to knowing everything. Sending e wrong msg to e wrong window. Have to lie (though part of e story is true) to cover up everything. I mean yes he know, but i jus wan it swept under e carpet now. Haha. Yeah, goodbye.
So im free now. Im feeling light. Thanz to him for making me feel thoroughly sad once, tts y making me c thru. Wat does not belongs to me, does not belongs to me. My happiness one day will come to me. Kk, that will b all for today.Though its abit bleak now, but im truly happy. ^^ Night everyone.

Survey = Outing

2006-06-21T20:12:00.001+08:00

Today e 3 of us meet up to do PMKT project. Went sch at 11 n photocopy the survey forms. End out...it turned out into an outing instead of doing project. Hahaa... We are so tempted to go shopping n walk walk la.
Went Bukit Panjan Plaza for lunch den proceed to Bishan Junction 8 den went Orchard, Far East Plaza. All e places we went, we jus window shop cos all had nt much money left. N its realli surprising that we didn buy anything. Seriously, its been so long we went gai gai together. A rare chance. Have to treasure this chance. Den when nxt month come, when all projects have been completed, its time for us to went Bugis to shop. Hahaha.
When I was trying clothes in Far east, my left eyelid twitch. It twitched before and it happened to b smth good happening. I jus rubbishily said out that e good thing mayb tt i cn c em ard. And Yeah, i saw Sherman near Gelare there! Its so zhun lo.
Well...spooky thing is not onli this. Went Bishan Junction 8. Its been so long since i last went there, e last time was like 5yrs ago. Everything is so different from my last visit. We went up to e second storey, somewhere ard SONY GALLERY, i immediately have this De Javu. I remember that I had a dream that look almost similar to e place. even one of e shop name looks exaclty e same, 'Alta' smth smth.
Well, shld i give up shld i not? I noe that hes not e one for me and yet, my heart dont wanna give way. Somemore, wat enting said, reallli give me hope. But wat if, hes actually like tt? Den isnt my hope gonna drop into nothing again?
After all, a fun day today, except for stupid thoughts. Enjoy urself and nite. ^^

Survey = Outing

2006-06-21T20:12:00.000+08:00

Sunburnt

2006-06-18T19:59:00.000+08:00

My whole body was super red nw. A few days ltr, it will turn dark, then skin peel off n it will still remain dark. Grr.. Then i need to wait another 6months for my skin to turn back to a fairer tone.I seriously dont wan to b tanned cos look so ugly n like philliphino maid. Hell...though its fun, i regret nt putting on sunblock lotion. Besides e tan, its pain...v painful.
Went Jurong East for e swim. We play e wave pool, laZy pool n e slides. E slide is e one which make me dread, cos cousins keep shouting words tt made me wanna hang myself. OMG~dey shouted so loud...
OK, now back to e tagged thingy...
5 snacks i gorge myself with...
1. dark choco
2.SUshi
3.sweets
4.potato chips
5.biscuits

5songs i sing n tear people's ear....
Actually any song i sing oso tear ppl's ear, so no diff.

5things i do with a million buck...
1.open a company myself
2.Buy a cupboard to store my comics
3.Change all e clothings inside my closet
4.EAT!!!
5.Buy a new house.

5place i seek refuge...
1.My house
2.Cousin House
3.Grandma house
4.Library
5.Shopping centres

5things i will never wear...
Will wear anything except for birthday suit

5bad habits...
1.Lazy
2.Like to sleep whole day
3.Spendthrift
4.Insensitive
5. Too gossipy

5Joys...
1. Got lots n lots of money to shopping
2.When i found my ideal bf
3.When i get good results
4.When everyone in my hse enjoy gd health
5.When there r no troubles

5 Fictional character i will date...
1.Hotaru-----------------Frm KYO
2.Hitsugaya------------Frm Bleach
3.Shendoh--------------Frm Slamdunk
4.ODA-------------------Frm Perfect girl.
Can onli tink of 4...somemore all from anime n mangas de. Ahaha

K, that will b all for today. Night. Tired...Zzzz

Wedding dinner ---Family Day

2006-06-18T00:22:00.000+08:00

By right im suppose to go library to pei Linnet n in fact i did but i didn stay for long. Cos last min, cousin called n told me tt we are celebrating Fathers' Day today. N so i went off after pei Linnet for an hour. Im so sorry cos i didn realli keep my promise to pei u e full day. Nxt wk if i have e time, i will pei u de. I promise.
Today is realli a family day. Went grandma house to eat n chat. For a long time, ah ma hse had not been so crowded, fun and noisy. Lil kids creating disturbing noise, e TV competing with the noise and people busy eating. One can say that its a happy family together.
About 4plus, everyone went home to get ready for dinner tonight. Everyone dressed their best and waited for the bus to bring us to e hotel. BUT...the bus went to the wrong place to pick us up Zzzz, n we were late. Lucky we still make it in time ^^.
This was one wedding dinner that dont make me wanna get married immediately but still its a good one. The atmosphere was harmonous and i've enjoyed myself. After the whole dinner, the family have a photo taking session. There was one photo which everyone got involved in e picture. Its realli a family photo, jus tt my father was missing. Haha.
In e midist of e whole dinner, he msg me. Something which make me freeze for a moment but meant is as a joke. Ahaha. I didn fall for tt trick but realli....Im stunned. I tink its highly possible that he already noe hw i feel for him. Yet, i still wanna keep on pretending that he dont know. Haha..sounds stupid but peace n frenship is wat i wan now. Suddenly i feel that there is a possibility but still i shld keep my hopes low. I would not wan to spoil my day.
Im ganna tease jus cos i say i wanna get married in 2yrs time. Halo, do you tink its possible? Its still too early for me. I still dont have a boyfriend myself.
A happy n fun day.Tml gonna go swimming. Though i cnt swim ><>

Animation --Bleach, Love?

2006-06-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

Common test is over on fri and i had my rest over the weekend, mon, tues n wed. What i have been doing? Watching anime n going out.
Back to e days where i craze over comics, manga n anime. I think i realli like to sink myself into the world of Fantasy, the world that i do not belongs to. But well, i believe that there are many ppl like me out there. For Bleach, I like Whitey-Chan so much. A cute lil genius. Ahaha, i even gt a pic frm alan there. I simply love e pic so much. Ahaha.
Tues went to town with qianyi. Its been sometime since we went for movie few months ago. Spent few hours at Wisma Atria jus to search for her semi formal clothing and smth for my dinner on sat. She bought smth n i bought nth. But well, going out with someone close is realli nice even though nth much came out of tt shopping spree.
Wed went eat sushi n today went school. PMKT i could say tt somehw we r on the right track and at least one less thing to tug my brain.
Enting said that I become more woman recently. Am I? Issit bcos my hair? My behaviour? Or my dressing? Seriously, im still nt prepared to bcom a woman yet. Or rather bcom a woman is nv my ambition. I wan to bcom myself, the me that care less for looks and even less for boys. Free like a bird and carefree like a cloud. Ok, i noe sounds much like a cliche. A cliche is a cliche. Haha.
What is love? The idea of love have never come to me. No matter how much i fall for one prsn, i could never call it love. Even for Him. Issit that i lack the courage to say love or jus that i feel that its a word that should not be easily speak out? I tink my ans is both. I lack the courage to say it, n im still finding someone who could make me say it. Mayb thats y i could not stand it when ppl say out this word so easily. As if there is no weight, no value.
Smth tugging my brain, going thru my brain. I wan to write it down, but i dunno where to start. I wanna talk, but none is free. I guess all e thoughts inside me, i have to straighten it all by myself.
So...this is e ending of e entry. Not much but jus another few days of my life. Night everyone ^^

CT over. Dreamz...

2006-06-09T21:49:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went library again for whole day of studying. Surprisingly i saw Sheila n WaiChong there. After rounds n years of playing hide n seek, they r finally together (i guess). I dunno much bout their story but somehow i now where it is heading cos no matter wat, both were my classmates in sec sch. Though i used to not like Sheila so much, but seeing them together, cnt deny that i realli feel happy for em. I mean finally they found their happiness.
Finally, CT was over. Haiz, but marketing was realli a killer for me. Dunno from when, i started to dislike this module alot. This sickness of it have long surpassed my dislike for BMGT n OB. Mayb cos of the tutor? Most probably i tink cos to me, he owas sounded n looked snobbish. This dislike of PMKT will kill me for the CT n the exam. I should realli reconsider about taking this specialisation next year. Anyway, i realli hate to think that the CT was over cos from now onwards, its project time. So many projects and so little time. Furthermore, all dunno where to start and wat to do. :'(
Last night, I had a dream. A dream that it will never come true. I dreamt that, He had again fallen for me and this time, i did not let it go. Somewhat im jus waiting for him to open his mouth and ask. In that dream, i had the taste of being with someone who you realli like. Its realli wat people call Xin Fu. In reality, this can never happen again. Dont tell me that i will never know what will happen in the future. It will not happen. We are like 2 straught lines which had once intersect each other but now, we are just drifting further and futher away, never able to meet again.
What cant be fufilled in a reality had now find its way through my dream. This can only shows how vulnerable i am towards this issue. Had i got over everything? Well, somethings are nt jus on if you have got it over anot, but have you forgotten that person. I will owas rmb him unless i loose my memory. A big part of my life, a big part of my growing up process. However, nothing to be too sad about cos i noe that the worst had already past and all i have to do is to look forward, look into the future.
Okie, that will be all for tonight. Need sometime for me to rest and relax. Finally one day i need not worry bout nt having enough time to study. Ahaha. So you guys too enjoy and relaz. Night :)

Sadness Begone

2006-06-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is seriously not a very good day for me cos i brave the heavy rain n went to e library. I did take umbrella with me budden by e time i reach e library, im all wet. Not onli that, my discman, my txtbk n papers all r wet! They r kept inside my bag de leh n they become like tt. End out my discman go mad n i have nth to listen to when study. Well, almost end of life span for tt le cos already been with me for 3yrs le. Time to go, thanz n bye bye discman. To pay up for my lack of music equipment, i have to fork out 100plus to buy a mp3 player. Haiz. Abit regretting buying e mp3 player. Not reali worth it, shld have insisted on buying Creative.
Well, sadness be gone, sadness be gone. Thanz to those who have consider my feelings n those who have console me. I cannot deny that im a lil jealous n dont realli feel good about it. I tried laughing it off n i did. Is it the real smile or am i jus faking it? Im numb n i cnt find out e difference. And so let it be, knowing everything too clearly mayb too painful. I tink i shld jus somehow try to put it down n be his fren.
Now studying i tink is no longer for myself onli. Yup, is for my future, but more imptly is that i wan to make my mum happy. I noe shes tired from day to day stuff, phone bills, electric bills, medical bills, our pocket money n stress from her work. Not much stuff can bring her relief and happiness i guess. Nothing i can help up either. I cant go to work, even if i did, it wont be permanent. Im nt much of a mature kid n in fact im v willful, dunno how to please ppl. The onli thing tt i noe i cn do n i shld do is at least let her not to worry bout me n give her e results she yearn for. After all, shes e one subsidising my education. Its only right to prove her that her investment is getting some returns.
K. That will be all for tonight. An emotional entry yet not so much emotions oso. Night everyone :D

Lost?? Maybe

2006-06-05T22:37:00.000+08:00

Common test started at 8.30am n i didn noe that it was onli for an hour. I tot it was one and a half hour, n i tot i will b dead meat after e test, but eh, no leh, it was rather easy. A paper that i can handle with a breeze. E diff is onli at e scoring, pass well or jus manage to pass.
After test went home, intend to meet Linnet to study. End out we go eat n after eating, we allowed our 'piggy' potential to go to e fullest. We feel so so so tired n then decided to went home n have a nap firs before studying. Yet, who noes after nappig, Linnet gt so into playing SIMs n started playing. Totally forgot bout studying. We even decide to go for Ice cream after she finish playing. Ice cream was nice but never buy raspberry flavour. It taste so much like sushi...SOur, as if vinegar was added, tasted so wrong! Finish eating, went home for Mahjong session n we call it a day. Ok, didn manage to study anything. But i realli hope tt tml i cn settle down to study. 3.7 here i come!!
Im a lil depress. K, we owas console ourselves that looks are not important, n those who look onli at the outside are being superficial. However, its human nature that we all love Beautiful things, be it clothes, jewels or human faces. He was one too and i guess he was a lil interested in Enting. Ahaha. Worse thing to happen on me, jus like how bad it is for one to fall sick during exam. I knew i said it plenty of times that I dont give a damn bout it anymore but still, it does affects me. Wateva reasons it is, I do see a gleam of light n hope a few days n weeks ago. Nw, i knew that i am realli hoping too much all along.
Mayb i shld realli give up on relationship n devote my time into my studies. All along, i have been disappointed. What i wan isnt wat i get, or it jus dont suit me. Maybe its time to do some thinking on where do i stand actually. And for wateva it is, i guess i shall jus simply give up on liking ppl all e time, owas playing e passive party.
K, that will b all. I tink i had too much of ranting here. From now on, i will not have time for it. I promise to myself. Haha. Night!

Growing up??

2006-06-02T22:52:00.000+08:00

I guess people wont remain the same forever, and normally changes took place without one knowing it. Today when i alighted from bus, gt this guy keep looking at me. Even when i look at him, his glance wont dodge. I told enting bout it and enting say she notice that recenly more guys looked at me. Seriously i didnt notice it and i dunno wats e reason. Enting say mayb cos this sem im a lil different. E feeling i gave out is like more feminine le, nt like in the past, i dont like to smile. True, cos this sem i was smiling alot more than the previous 2 sems. Or issit that i have grown up n have learnt to tame myself from rough movements? HAhaha, no use guessing it. However, cnt deny that im rather happy... firs time. Hahaha.
Saw beeyong n Sherman at blk73 today n that was realli rare. But they didn c me la. Ahaha. It was when i was walking towards lect hall24 that i saw em again. Its lyk so damn qiao lo. Its either i didn c em at all or i keep seeing them. Well, like i say, actually i abit scared of beeyong cos c his face, its as though he is up to smth no good. However, i did smile at em n i wanna walk off quickly. May n Enting was behind me n i actually wanna turned n ask em to walk faster. However, when i turn, i saw enting n alan smiling to each other. Ok, im shock for that split secs. What e hack is he doing there! Then i wave say hi cum goodbye n headed for lect. However, Alan jus told me that beeyong complained that i didn say hi to em but i say hi to him. Hahaha, im a lil guilty actually. After all, hes rather different. I tink you all noe wat i mean.
Lect hall was like dead cos many didn turn up for e lect. I guess all studying for tml's paper. Den finish lect, went home, fetch my stuff n meet Linnet at lib. Study for quite awhile n we have a chat. It feels so short but linnet told me tt its more than half an hour. Lol...tts long. Well, quality studying today n hope for AAA i could score well as i am rather confident. After studying, went for dinner at JP KOPITIAM and then went home. Tml we still studying hor Linnet...ahaha.
Ok, thats all for tonight. Love all of ya reading my blog. Muhaahahz, im crazy nw. Night n take care. :)

Singapore Idol-- Firs time to mediacorp

2006-06-02T00:33:00.000+08:00

Went school at about 11 plus today to study for AAA. Have lunch at Lib cafe and chat for a lil while. Some sort of chat tt i like so much. I bascially like talking but onli to those im close with. Then Eve came back frm KPT meeting and we went study upstairs. Its a v condusive environment and i manage to study, and its quality studying. I guess AAA wont be much of a prob.
Went meet Karen dey all at 5 to go support Norman at mediacorp. To be frank, i simply feel out of place. DUnno wat to say and dunno wat to do, nothing to connect with them. Went in the studio and everything was simply lame. Yah, i mean i shld b high but theres no way i can. Till i saw Dick Lee. Ok, i noe its a lil ridiculous but i realli tink that he outshine all the other contestants. He jus so shuai n cute n eveything though hes already 51 yrs old. I tot hes onli 30+....OMG im melting.
After that went eat, dont feel like eating but still stuff some food into my mouth, jus to entertain ppl. Im already quite tired n piss then. Dunno y, im owas like tt when im with a grp of ppl whom i cnt mix with. Dont feel like talking, dont feel like mixing and most imptly, i dont like forcing myself to talk to em. Getting late n im yearning to go hm.
Took bus with e guys, chatted with em. But still i feel that tonite, i cnt connect with em. They do know alot of stuff tt i dunno. Makes me feels like an idiot or to phrase it in a nicer way, its as though im a kid, so closed up n noe nth.
Its weird. The strange feeling is disrupting my life n killing me. I try to drive it away but recently the frequency for me to stare into space is getting higher n higher, n i starts to talk less and i dont even feel like talking sometimes. Getting more n more ecentric i suppose.
Anyway, wat makes me realli touched today is yong sin walk me home. Im realli scared going hm at this time, so late and dark. Alot of thanz to him n im rather paiseh oso. Ahahaha. Im jus a silly girl, i noe tt.
So End out norman was out but i believe he cn make it in e wild card round. That will be all for tonight. Hope everyday will be a sunday. Bless me. Night.

Relaxed with Linnet..

2006-05-30T22:11:00.000+08:00

I guess my temper was abit bad recently. V easy to get vexed and agitated easily, maybe stress is coming? I dunno. I rmb saying that my aim for this sem is 3.7 budden so far...it seems abit hard cos im on my way back to laziness, not as hardworking as compared when the sem firs started. If theres anything that i said too harsh or too bad, pls excuse me cos...theres realli smth up on my mind which make me this way. For info sake, i myself oso dunno wats up there, jus like something has clogged up my brain n no matter wat i do, it jus wont smoothen up. Maybe its family matters, or issit other things? Im nt sure.
Went school for 2hrs and rushed home, get changed took my stuff and off i go meet Linnet. Rahter excited cos its been long that i have meet her. Ever since new year, or was it earlier? SHe had been in e library frm 11 in e morning. Wow...tts long. I started off doing AAA which seriously was a piece of cake to me. Finished it off within half an hour. Intend to do OM budden have to get my piority right, AAA is on saturday and i have to do firs things firs. Though i believe AAA wont be much of a problem. After we r finish with e stuff, we went jp for dinner at mac. Chatted e lil while n Net come my hse to play mahjong. Lol, she's been wanting to play dunno hw long ago n finally she have e chance.
Being together with her, i tink its e best ba. I mean i can laugh, speak, cry whatever n whenever i want. I need not think or fear too much bout hw she tink of me cos she noes tt tts me. Furthermore she could c my pt of view though our views may differ at times. We love to argue about stupid stuff but still these things make us grow. THe most most impt thing is that she noes me n i noes her. We know what we like or dont like and sometimes these things do warm ones heart. Understanding is the best.
On my way to convince her to stay overnight at my hse nxt week. Wahaha. Tink it will be fun. So cya around. Good luck for those having common test. YEah!!

Msging msging..

2006-05-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

Its been rather weird today, it seems like alot of stuff got into my head n yet i dunno wat they are. However, i guess its normal cos i jus met Li Heng yesterday n its owas like this after i met him. It very easy for me to stare into space and have those weird weird feeling while ignoring my surroundings.
Early in the morning went for EC lect n attempt to explore new route, however i failed. COmpletely fail. Lecture was boring. My onli aim to go there was to chit chat n eat tidbits but due to circumstances, i jus cnt gossip wateva i want. Urggh..somemore i lost my ability to evaesdrop today. COmpletely lost it, cant hear anything tt others can. It was onli when someone shouts out vulgarity which seriously turns me off, making me wanting to slap tt someone. Its rather nonsense n idiotic la.
Ltr on went to OM tutorial. Nw its e 5th week n its onli our 2nd tutorial. But i like e teacher alot leh, cos he seems so nice n ci xiang. Rare to have a tutor i like leh. Haha. Den enting say gt ppl keep looking at her n us. Wonder wat it is n smelling something fishy. What is it and wat could it be? Well we will c when time goes by. Im hungry! HUngry for e whole day yet i have no appetite for anything. Its e firs time i cnt finish a bread. A bread n I cnt even finish it. E something on my mind is realli making me go crazy.Haiz
Den today early in e morning Alan msg me n thus we keep msging each other on n on n on. Den at sch bus stop saw him for e firs time ever since chinese new yr. . For e firs time, i actually did dare to say hi to him firs, n im nt tt shy anymore. He say i gt tap his shoulder leh. Did i? Mayb i did. Wa...tts a good improvement. He told me that his hair is short n yes its short, I realli cnt get use to it..haha. Yesterday n today we have been msging each other. Though its nt tt kind of frequent ones, we did it once every few hours n its rather fun this way. Friendship suddenly blossoms between us? NOt bad neh... Lucky during lecture n tutorial his msg was there for me, if nt im gonna die of boredom. Ahaha.
K tts all for tonight n im rather happy n hyper today. Yeah. NIGHT EVERYONE!!

I tink i gotta over.

2006-05-25T20:07:00.001+08:00

Somethings you jus could not forget and especailly those who have, which have accompany you for years. Sometimes things jus could not go back to the past. Today meet some old friends coincidentally. Shao Kai, Li Heng, Jiayi and Karen. For jiayi and karen, we still can chat though seems abit distant but no matter wat, we are still in e same sec sch. Howeva they mention my most embarassing past. OMG! For ShaoKai, the no. of yrs we didn meet matters alot, so theres realli nothing to talk bout. For Liheng, as usual seeing him makes me down. However the lost feeling wasnt so bad this time, and we did msg each other after that, sounds like the past but i noe its not. We are jus being polite, thats all. We are not going back to the past and i have the urge to tell him that I was funny becos of him. I will onli act this way in front of him and nobody else. Thats becos somethings happen and i jus have not put em down. But im on my way there cos i want nothing out frm him nw. If you realli wan me n him to be together, theres no way n i dont wan.
Jap speaking test on the other hand was rather disastrous but i tink i could pass for the module. I jus completely freak out during the test. Forget what to say and dunno what to reply. Lucky Zinc was there for me. After the whole thing, went lib and chat with Helene. After that we went Blk47 to find Bambi. OMG lo, e building there was realli wulu. E lift gt those 'ding...ding' sound, as if filming a horror movie. When e lift door open, and i saw someone standing there, though its a human, i was still scared out of my wits.
Ltr went back Canteen1 with Helene, Bambi n May to meet Enting. But saw Eve at usual place n we sat down. After sitting down, den i realise that Wen Song is actually coming n Eve didn tell me earlier. He came n say till i realli that great, lyk help him alot during jap test, lyk i was his saviour. But i realli dont lyk guys toking to me this way n tt piss me even more. He keep saying stupid stuff, asking idiotic qns...BAKA. As usual, i dont like e way he talks to me n e way he looks at me.
Project was fun and the 3 of us had a non stop talking session. Its been so long we have been so chatty and it makes me noisy and talkative again. I simply...LOVE IT wahahaha. Enting n I chatted on e bus all e way to JP, we didn sleep or anything. Can realli see that we are so into talking. Heehee. Den Enting go find her documentary while i was chatting with frens. Den went ard shopping n i saw him. Haha.
Thats all for today. Alot of feelings inside. Both good and bad, however i realli hope that frens stay e way they are. Bye everyone. ^^MUACKZ

Home is crowded again...

2006-05-23T22:08:00.000+08:00

Finally after bout a week plus, all the family members were back into one small house again. Grandma and grandpa have been discharged from Hospital. Grandpa is now better and i dont have to worry for him now. But grandma case is abit not so optimistic. However, Hope the report have nothing negative.
Miss Haslinda died bout a month ago and now Mr Wong Kiow passed away on Sunday. Wats the meaning of this? Repected teachers gone one after another? Furthermore, both teachers appear to be well before they were gone. Well, thats life and i have no control over it.
School has now becoming more and more busy with more homework, project due dates and common test coming. AAA in a week and half time to come while the other modules will be in 2 weeks time.Everyday (at least for this week), i went home with work to be done, research to do and project to send. Ahaha, though its a lil stress but finally everything went back into its normal ways. This is wat i call 'school', have things to be busy with and no time to think bout stupid stuff. Yeah!
Frm nxt week onwards im gonna collect 2.50 each frm the guys for photocopying service. Feel rather bad to earn a friend's money. Firs time doing it but Since Enting say that its for e transportation fee, service fees and stuff then well, i accept it. Heehee :)
Collect my new specs today. Some say its nice while some says it looks weird. My mum say i looks like an Auntie !!! My money gone down to drain. I tot it will look nice on me. Haiz. I will try wearing it to school tml to test the effect. Wahaha budden i dont noe wat clothes to match. Today me and enting topic is about, wat type of beauty we have in us and who will appreciate it. Heehee
Recently into the comic, Perfect Girl. Thanz ChangFang for giving me such a nice thing to do for my free time. The comic is funny and nice. Dont have those kind of serous mood for a Girl Comic. Its nothing bout jokes n crazy ideas though the guys abit lyk e meteor garden de F4. On the whole its nice la. Heehee
Well, that will be all for today. Night everyone and have fun. Yeah!!

Simple day with plenty of mixed feeling

2006-05-18T18:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday have a lil chat thru sms with Darius and make me miss my days in PJ again. Rather happy that he still rmbs me cos we actually never get to noe each other. A fren's fren, a small crush, jus went out once, chatted online for a few nights and nothing more. Well, its because when chatting with him, i suddenly have e urge to tie my hair in pony tails today n so i did. Ha, i feel weird cos rare to c someone in sch with that kind of hairstyle, scared others might tink tt im super act cute. Onli when Eve n may n Enting say not bad, nice n cute, then i start to feel that actually its not bad.
Jap lesson, that stupid guy sat beside me. Lets call him D here. For that one moment, i actually tot that hes actually not a bad person, at least he talk to me firs, though its on lesson stuff. But well, for that moment i tot that maybe eve's choice of becoming frens with him is a right one while my choice of disliking him was a wrong one. However, in e end, my choice turned out to b correct actually. Hes a real bastard, disgusting play boy, thought himself to be v good looking and humorous. Deep down, he rots and sux, all he noes was vanity and trying to be a flirt. He broke his record of being with a girl named charlotte for being with her for 11months. Its his record. RECORD!! You call these stuff RECORD?! His fren even ask him if hes intending to break with her. Lucky he say no, if not, i will give him one tight slap instantly. In e lift, they toking bout XXX. I dont like their tone when they tok bout her. Maybe im over sensitive, but it sound like mocking to me. F*** HIM n em.
Jap class ends early as usual so me n Helene went blk72 to use e comps while waiting for Enting n May. Onli den i noe Bambi oso dislikes D..wahaha great minds tink alikes somemore its like e tot bout D is e same. DISGUSTING! Chatted with Helene den Bambi came. Happen to noe that we both in the same class for AF. Yeah, finally someone close that i noe in tt class with me...Muahaha. Nice chatting with Helene n Bambi. Den Enting n May came n we went for lunch together.
Went Canteen1 for some snacks, chatted awhile n we left. When we left, Enting said that a guy (who is rather gd looking looked at me.). At first i tot its due to my hairstyle weird. But Enting said it wasnt. Wahaha, firs time i noe gt a guy looking at me. E feeling is rather SHUANG. Hehehe.
Wonder if i shld tell XXX bout it. I dont wan to b deem as sowing discord or jus being over sensitive. But anyway on e whole today realli gt alot of mix feelings. But still, feel myself as a xing fu wan. Hope everyone is being blessed and have a nice n xinfu day.
Bye EVeryone ^^

Knowing someOne neW

2006-05-16T22:11:00.000+08:00

Today at school was rather a eventful one. Erm...maybe not that but at least is one of e better days recently. I dunno y, have been feelling vexed recently, i myself could not find the reason why oso. Maybe i starts to feel the stress coming? Or jus simply just that these are the few grey days.
Early in the morning, saw Bee. Its e firs time that i saw him ever since i heard e news. Ok, this time was much better at least he stop to smile, n i smiled back. Its rare to c him around sch. Maybe its jus e timetable problem. Well, its still awkward when i saw him, not as bad as before.
Rather in a high mood in school till around afternoon cos i felt that my bad luck was starting to disperse. At least today i didn get hurt or something. But that stupid PMKT tutor was rather idiotic. Keep picking on the few of us, hanloon, kenneth, enting n me. Wats e big deal if we likes to talk? E darnest thing bout him was that when he saw my quiz 2 de result, he give that kind of disbelief look, as if i cnt obtain that kind of marks. The way he ask questions irritates me oso. It is not polite at all, in fact, its a lil intimidating n rude.STUPID!!
Den dissussion for OM falls out cos i realli not in the mood. Ok, that was my fault. Den we headed for library n stay there for the whole afternoon. I want to go off initially but end out chatting with Sara while the others were doing their work. We chatted bout interest n stuff, about her interest in dance n fashion design and my amibtion on wanting to be a playwright. Wahaha. Firs time when i mention it to someone, that person would actually encourage me to go ahead. However, im afraid that i realli do not have the talent. Realli have a nice time chatting with her. Well, starts to noe someone of e same interest?
N she says that im actually a rather nice person. Firs time to hear that i give people a v guai impression. Wahaha...so flattered neh.
K, that will be all for today. Bye n night everyone.

My Prince...

2006-05-15T22:53:00.000+08:00

Mayb i have long lost touch with the human world. I dont know how to tolerate little flaws in human and sometimes i forget how to forgive. Its rather sinful.
Have been tagged by Janice to state the 8pts of my prince. Enting has tagged me before, but that was months ago and a few changes have been made to my prince i tink. Anyway, thanz Janice for remembering me. For wateva the reason that you have tagged me, im realli grateful for that cos it means that i have a place in your heart. Frens are busy and i understand that sometimes we dont have too much time with each other.
The 8pts for my prince r as below....
1. Tall
2. Intelligence. Be it EQ or IQ. If he dont have IQ give him EQ. If he dont have EQ, give him IQ. I dont mind having someone having both.
3. SOmeone who is able to understand me, what i like, what i want etc.
4. Someone who can sings well. Guys who can sing well are most charming creatures on earth.
5. Be a man, not someone pampered. He mus be willing to stand out to shield me from disasters.
6.Someone who shares the same interest as me. Or, we are of the same frequency.
7. Humorous. Able to cheer me up when in times of need.
8. Devoted. I used to find playboys cute. But after i noe of someone...,NO man!
Well, seems like im looking for a husband now.
Grandma went hospital during mothers' day but im sure she will be alright.
These few days have been real unlucky, having cuts n bruises almost everyday. Im sure that after these unlucky events, my lucky days will be here again :)
Well, thats all for today. Hope you all have a good night.

Getting to be serious...

2006-05-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

Time change, people change. This time, i think my beliefs and attitude in some stuff have realli been changed. From this sem onwards, its as if i dont wan to have so much free time anymore. I want work load, lots and lots of work to make me occupied, allow me to make full use of time. Furthermore, e most important thing is that i have a serious attitude in my studies, in my future now.
Yesterday during PMKT lect, i actually wanna sit in e middle row to get a good view of the screen. I didn realise wat i say till may say that she could not believe that i actually say those words. Well, im realli working hard, i mean compared to last sem. Attending lectures, doing tutorials, reading e textbooks. Sounds boring? Ya, i myself cnt imagine that im doing these stuff too. My aim for GPA this sem is 3.7...Sounds abit too ambitious? Ya, i tink so too. But since young, i nv try out my best for anything, be it swimming, basketball or in my studies. I didn deny that i once worked hard for these, but not once that im all out. I owas have e tinking that, 'so long im nt e last' n tts y im nv e firs or e best. Im owas tot myself to b extraordinary, smart n clever, yet i had yet to achieve smth in my life so far. For once, i wan to c that in how much could i achieve if i put my best in (erm..mayb not e best but close.), how much can i achieve. Mayb im nt as great as i tink??
Im working towards my future. I rather be a $1000 OL than a $1000 sales girl in orchard. OL gets to promote and sales girl did not. E social status oso differs. Aims to be a Financial Manager nxt time. Marketing manager oso sounds not bad right??
This week nothing much, went sch, go hm, nap den hmk. Didn go shopping or have fun. I did realli wan to but onli i have e time, have e energy n have e ppl to pei me.
Fate? Do you believe or do you not? Someone ans me...
Ok , that will be all for this week. Hope there will be some fun nxt wk.. Night :)

Have you had enough?? A bad day a good day...

2006-05-05T22:26:00.000+08:00

School have been good these few days as the tutorials had started but so far, all tutors are old males, all old turtle. I simply dont like anyone of em... I discover that im sometimes am quite a shallow n fake person, actually, Sarah turned out quite nice. Its much much better that i thought. Should not misjudge her in the first place. Now feel rather guilty towards her. My acting skills becoming better now. I cn dont like you on one hand, n treats you super good on the other. Well, true, im a litle bitchy after all.
Today was a bad day but ended up good. It rained heavily in the morning n I overslept!! Wats so big deal to overslept, you must be wondering. But im a person who rarely overslept, even if the alarm dont go off, im still able to wake up 10-15 min earlier instinctly. However, today, e instinct didnt work. I guess I mus have tired out myself. Well wash up, changed and went school, but on the way to school, got myself all wet...might as well dont wash up right?
EC lect was ok. Learning to chase bordem away during lect, which is to write down notes, write down wateva the lect says. Sometimes you might not catch wat the lecturer says but at least wont be bored or sleepy. In this way, i learned more stuff instead of slacking in the lect hall. Had some laughter on the way. OM tutorial was much of a torture again as it is bored and super duper cold...burrr. After lunch, everything falls apart. Met may's fren. SHes rather a nice person and she got e phone i wan in e firs place. Stupid, i shld not give tt phone up for the phone im holding now. Haiz, but forget it. Im sure soon i will be able to buy a better one.
After sch went Ginza with cousin. Have a meal that i didn realli enjoy cos dont realli have e appetite. Walk around ginza and bought myself a top which sis say its nice n cute. Cute...wat a word to describe me =.=. Dont even noe i will wear it to sch in e firs place not. Den mum n bro come. Chatted about our palms, some fortune telling session started. If my fate could exchanged with my bro den its good. Destined not to lead the life i wan, have to live it the way guys do..career, money but little love n frenship. SOunds rather pathetic, tink i would end up like Chen Li Zhen in e 9Pm show.
Sometimes i just had enough of entertaining people, living through people's mood, tantrums and rubbish. Tired, irritated. I have to pretend that im not affected, to laugh to joke with them till dey are happy..Thats simply so sick!! Im nt a clown n im simply hated one. Nxt time it happen, wat im gonna do was to leave them alone, not fearing anymore bout wat had i done or say wrong this time. Well, since to my family, im one who is stubborn n nv admit my mistake though i noe its wrong, den let me appear this way to them too.
A lil fed up...haha. But its better after an evening at Ginza. Thanz those who have make my day. Night everyone and have a nice weekend...

Met alot of old friends...

2006-05-03T18:35:00.000+08:00

Today at school, was a wonderful and fun one. All i was doing was laughing, joking, fooling around, which means that, my mood was very very very good. Reason? I meet alot of my old friends, be it sec or pri frens n some were used to be so close....
Early in the morning, i met Shao Kai, n i nearly cnt recognise him. It was him who recognise me first..hahaha. Its abit awkward cos its been so long we have seen each other, since PSLE, or was it sec2? Cnt realli rmb nw. All i do was walk up, say hi, ask him his course n bid goodbye to him. I guess we have more chance of meeting each other in sch.
Den AAA tutorial was a torture, e room was extremely cold and the tutor is so draggy n boring. Finally we finished off, and cnt wait to go for lunch cos im simply famished.
Went canteen3 for chicken rice, it was yummy as usual. I went queue up for the food n i saw sherman n beeyong with a few other guys who i dont know. I pretended i didn see em until Bee saw me n asked Sherman to say hi to me. I say hi back but its another awkward situation n i dunno wat to do.
Finished my food, went coop to buy some stationary. I was queuing up to pay n behind me, its e 2guys again. Bee said some kind of rubbish like we have fate and smth else but i noe who he was actually refering to. Sing along with him while pretending that i dunno wat he mean, paid my stuff n goodbye to em. Since when did i involved with Sherman?? I dunno n im puzzled too.
Went back canteen 1 to meet enting. Eve, enting, may, vincent n me sat at e umbrella there n crap, mostly vincent is e one that crap. Hes so crappy. Ok, rather fun, cos its been so long i c ppl who cn crap so 'fluently' except for my cousin frens. I saw Benedict then, didn say hi or anything cos i nt cfm. Didn heard anyone telling me tt hes actually in NP.
Lect den went lib to wait for time to pass with may n enting. 3 of us gt our drinks but no pearl =(.
Surprise again, met peiyi, queuing in front of me to get e drinks, den i saw bobby walk pass. Another surprise cos no one tell me shes in NP, but i bet nt much ppl noe too. Walk to bobby n have a chat with her, noe hws she doingn stuff n i left for my drinks. Den EC make-up tutorial, tutorials is always so boring. However, today e 3 of us have some time laughing n joking around---FUN!!
Its been so long tt i have so much fun n surprises in one day. Though each even is common but adds up today, its quite an exciting n eventful day, hahahaha. In e firs place, i dont expect that tt i will c so many ppl. Well, hope to see these people around in sch more often. Have a nice day den... BYE!!

School started...

2006-04-27T23:12:00.000+08:00

School started on tues with Triple A firs. Yes accounts as my strong side and of course i was eager for the lecture. Went there, the lecturer wasnt very interesting but i managed to stay focus throughout the whole lect, onli loosing my attention at e last 10 min.
Den e 4 of us went for lunch at serene centre. Yes, the usual combination of food, drinks n desert, or issit dessert? Feels lyk so long e 4 of us had sat down there n have some chat. Nice feeling, nice meal. Hoever was rather horrible when e finish e meal, cos i feel so tired n wanna skip the nxt lect. I attended it all e same but ran away after for bout an hr. Nt onli me, enting, hanloon n others that i dont know went away too. Lecture was simply............BORING!!!!
Today attended my Jap lesson. Have been looking for it since holi budden suddenly this morning i have been dreading on it, cos theres no one same class as ME!! Lucky, theres helene with me!! At least i need not feel so lonely during e 4 hrs. Learned quite some stuff, compare to french n spanish, Jap was consider easier, but i quite could not catch up as i could not remember all e stuff that was taught. Need to revise more, if nt i gonna flunk for e quiz nxt wk. On e whole, learning a ne language was rather fun, interesting n very new!
After that sell away my txtbk n went ahead for movie at JP, have a meal of KFC too, yummy. Have few hours before show starts n we went walk walk. Went library n i managed to borrow some books. I will read em if i have e time, after all, thats my fave author.
Eight Below was realli like wat i have heard, touching n nice. Enting cried. I feel like crying but push back the tears that are dwelling in my eyes, quite shameful to cry in the public, i tink. Not onli humans will outgrow the stage of childishness, dogs do too. What i love bout e show is nt bout e rslp between human n dogs, but e change from a senseless dog to a mature n responsible husky, eventually became e leader of e pack i think, if nt it will.
Enjoyable day, feels great bout sch reopen but feel sad bout it too. My freetime gone but so was my boredem. Hope everyone of u will enjoy sch (though stress is coming, dont turned into a workaholic n managed stress well)! ^^ :)

Day before sch starts

2006-04-24T23:31:00.000+08:00

Finally e long awaited sch reopen is here budden suddenly i gt e sian feeling. Back to sch, back to e crowd, back to e busy days. Luckily, i have one more day of holi than any other ppl.
Back to mel, printed my timetable, my notes, my tutorials, a routine that i do during school days, n it took me 2 hours to complete e printing, haiz. School life is so fun yet so boring n tedious.
Early in e morning, Alan msg me gd luck for e sem, nv expect tt he will send me tt. Kinda appreciated e tot n hope tt he cn do well for this sem too, though he seems abit down recently.
Went to GInza ltr on to collect back my jeans that have been send for altering, sat there for e whole day, eating n munching food. Cousin brought a whole bunch of guys to e shop, makes e shop looks small, n at e gaming shop, she met Bee.
At a ltr time, Bee come into e shop. Have a lil chat n he quickly left e shop. He looks as cute as ever n as shy as before. A funny feeling when i see him, he looks both girlish n boyish at e same time, rare to find this kind of guys nowadays. His voice is rather soft n his looks like a girl oso, but theres somewhere boy bout him, haha, weird n funny guy. Somemore hes v devoted. His heart i guess nv left for tt person he has fell. Hope to b his in laws la..haha. I tink hes e best candidate for her...hahaha.
Den went for steamboat, lots of fish n prawns. I tink i mus have gain a few kilos frm all e eating cos i eat 2 bowls of rice with all e other food, 3 bowls of soup too!! But yummy! Eating steamboat in cold n wet weather is e best. Wahaha.
Tt will b all for today. Hope e new class will b fun, successfully find a good grp mate. Woohoo!! Muackz n night everyone!

Understanding...

2006-04-21T22:32:00.001+08:00

These few days have been feeling quite lonely, i oso dunno why this feeling come along. I have friends to accompany everyday, occupy myself with activities budden dunno why, i still feel that im very distant from everyone. Ok, i agree its my fault cos im so fickle, so difficult to understand even sometimes i dunno what im tinking or understand myself oso. Hw do i expect ppl to understand me when i, myself could not figure myself out too. Hahaha, but well, i gt it straight. Maybe i just dont need ppl to understand me, maybe im born the way i am, maybe im already fortunate enough, maybe i do not need to change myself to adapt the others. I am still myself, just a lil confused here n there, still finding directions for life, still finding ways to settle myself, still trying to define myself as what kind of person i am. Theres jus too many grey areas in my life, my personality right now.
Wed went swimming with Enting and i managed to swim a few rounds. Not very happy with my speed, compare to last yr, i have deproved alot. I noe it will happen but i didn expect that i will be so tired after jus a few rounds. Den we two have a chat in the pool and enjoy the waves, rather relaxing. Took some pics to update my friendster oso. Haha...FINALLY.
Today went for a movie, THE SENTINAL. Rather out of plan cos qianyi called me out of nowhere and asked me out to accompany her. Since i have nth to do so i accompany her. Have a meal and headed for the theatre. The show was rather nice jus tt im too tired and my sneezing caused me nt to b able to concentrate, but nice show. The chat with qianyi mainly evovled around her new sch life. Her class was jus like mine...haha. Hope that she could adapt soon and im sure she could definitely adapt better than me.
Sch starting soon, starts to dread sch but well, onli sch give me sm stuff to do. Tts e onli thing tt i wont b too lazy to do cos im being forced to do tt..Haha. I tink im falling sick and hope that it will be heal soon.
Night everyone.

2006-04-18T22:39:00.000+08:00

I have been feeling funny, very funny. Alan hasnt come into my mind for days and now i dont even bother bout him when hes online. I guess, i realli let everything go that night when we chat heart to heart. Its a nice feeling and i hope that its all friendship.
It has also been days after i met him and well, i still feel weird after that incident and hope that something will realli happen. Well, its typical me and i wonder why. When can i ever stop having the feeling of liking someone, needing someone? I hate being vulnerable, espcially when my mind tells me that its ok to be alone and that stupid thought of wanting someone came in. I want to be independent, regardless is it physical or emotinally. I hate the thought of wanting someone and later it fell into nothing again. Maybe im just too overwhelmed by the strange feeling that im feeling these confused. I guess some of u may be a lil impatient with me cos all of my idiotic emotions by now. Me too and i wished i can stop it soon.
Ok, enough of stupid ranting and now back to my triumph after my shopping trip. Had been to shopping yesterday and bought 2jeans, 1 skirt and 2 teeshirt jus to get ready to start sch. Den i packed my wardrobe yesterday and cleared plenty of clothes. All those that i have bought and had not wear them for a century. I loved the stuff that i bought, plus e pair of shoes i bought last week, add up to i tink bout 100plus.
Den today went walk walk with enting and had a nice time. Afternoon tea and a simple small chat those these time we didnt tok much bout relationship stuff. Den come my hse have dinner and stuff. Thats all for today and soon sch will starts.
A few wish for nxt sem...
1. Good and friendly classmates. This way, i can have loads of fun. ^^
2. I can concentrate on my studies more than relationships.
3.I can grow slimer, and more beautiful as days pass...wahaha.
Jus some wishes, dont b too mean to comment on it cos dey all jus wishes. Wishes are jus fantasies. Ok, tt will be all for my blog. Nite everyone.

A wonderful night. Its a small small world.

2006-04-14T00:08:00.000+08:00

Firs a bad news. Miss Haslinda pass away these few days due to cancer. Shes a young and hardworking teacher, i guess, many pri frens will feel heart broken for her departure. Though i dont noe her well, but i guess those in my pri sch will noe her and respect her. It upsets me n im sure, it upsets alot of ppl too. Well to those who realli lover her, i realli dunno wat to say n may her rest in peace. She saved many students.
Next bad news, smth happen between me n my father for days. He refused to talk to me, n i refused to talk to him or even greet him when hes home. Well, i do feel bad bout tt but since hes so childish to start it firs n i did make e effort to talk to him, im nt going to waste my effort anymore. My mum asked me to greet him just nw, well, i pretended that i didn hear anything. I noe my father mus have been hurt, but arent I too? I noe im ill tempered, willful n stubborn, but well.... I noe im in e wrong, but i jus dont lyk apologising or anything so i've gt nth to defend myself anymore.
Nxt, tonite is a wonderful n beautiful night. So many weeks and days passed and today, it make me feel so... strange but in a positive way. Went for a movie TAKE THE LEAD. Well, i didn regret buying the tix n thankful that i didn choose INSIDE MAN. It was a great music, nice music, nice moves, nice story plot, everything bout the show was great. U will feel ur body move as the dancers move their body with the music. I love it, i tink i will buy its VCD when its out, its sound track too. Very inspiring n meaningful movie. People overcoming their different problems n differences, dance together and enjoy it. Its e firs time that i went to a movie, when the lights are on, people still refused to get out of their seats, watching the people's body singing. Amazing i can say Out of 5 stars, i give it 4.8.
Its a beautiful night its nt becos i went for movie. Its becos i went for movie with e right person with e right movie. I went with jean n qianyi. Chat alot, talked alot bout work, school, friends. And well, jean did seems abit shack due to the pressure coming from her sch work n A lvls. Well, Pri sch frens. These are my Pri sch frens.
One pleasent surprise i gt. Hanloon actually noe Qianyi n Jean! We happen to met each other at JP today. Qianyi called out to one of her frens at first, n there i saw Han Loon sitting on the same table with em. He was shock too i guess, he asked, 'why are you with em?' Well, of course, they are my sisters, my pri sch frens! However, i embarrassed myself. There was this guy sitting beside HanLoon, n ya, he was looking at me before i land my eyes on him. He said.' i guess you dont recognise me le rite?'
I blur, cnt find anyone i knew that match his face n i say, 'WHo are you?'. Then Qianyi n Jean tell me , 'Keynse la!'. OMG, I forgot bout him! My p3n4 classmates! To tink that i find his name useful when i rmb graph tittle for econs. He looks better than the past i admit. But seriously I reali dont recognise him! Well, Hanloon is actually qianyi jean n Keynse fren, n i noe nth bout tt. I noe e world is small, but i dunno its a small small world!
One stupid thing bout tt is, last week, i had a dream, dreamt bout him. N to tink tt i actually met him today. In that dream, its him who dont recognise me. Haha. Meeting all e frens, esp pri sch frens, make u feel so...wow. Haha.
K, that will be all for tonight. A rather long entry. I love the feeling tonight deduct away e bad news. I hope that wonderful feeling will owas remain n will nt b lost when the morning comes tml. Night everyone!

Shopping Trip...

2006-04-10T19:53:00.000+08:00

Went Queensway shopping centre with my brother today in hope of buying a sch bag for sch reopen. We went there walk for rounds but well, e bag i wan was simply too ex, though its v nice. Its a nike bag cost bout $80, some shop even sell up to $90 odd! Haiz, in e end, i give up on buying a bag since my Myuk bag was still intact without anywhere spoil. However, i paid $20 for my brother sling bag, its nice oso, wahaha, i cn use it sometimes.
Then we went back to Jurong point cos i need to buy my toner so that my Loreal set will be complete since i bought nth at queensway. Yan pei called me when i jus reached. Well she say she saw me. I was rather surprised when she call me cos she seldoms call ppl de. Den i bought the printer ink, the toner and i treated my brother macdonalds.
Jus when we are leaving the place, we passed by pedal works. I was looking for shoes for sch oso. Heehee, went in and caught my eyes on this pair of heels. Though its a lil off my budget but i still bought it anway cos without buying anything new for sch starts realli mak me feel weird and edgy. Furthermore, i have no shoes for school la, onli a pair of flip flops, and 3 pair of heels. Nxt sem gonna climb hill, dunno hw im going to die with heels...but haiz, it seems like no covered shoes caught my eyes except for heels.
So the total bill for today
Brother's Bag---------------$20
Toner------------------------$12.90
Mac--------------------------$9.45
Heels-------------------------$36
Give my bro----------------$5
Total-------------------------$83.35
Well, im broke now. Plus im going to watch movie on fri, i tink i mus be realli tight with my cash flow nw. Its not even half of the month gone!!! If this carry one, i have to dip into my savings le.. Haiz... But well, shopping lifted my mood...hahaha

Outing with Amelia

2006-04-08T18:53:00.000+08:00

This week was a rather boring one. I keep staying in the house watching TV, reading online comics, playing online games to spend my time away, occasionally went jp to walk walk n do e some groceries, run errands for the family. On Mon, my brother and i went to the Sakae Sushi near JW library. The food and service were not execptionally good, compare to the bukit batok and CCK branch, it was below the standard. Both of us even got stomache after the meal, though we did not know if its link directly to the food.
IS enrollment on thursday. It was not a bad one as i managed to enroll into the modules that i like. Jap and Film appreciating, both are on the morning slots. Well for the firs seven weeks, at least i have someone going school with me..haha.
Today went CCK to meet Amelia. Its been a year since we met and well shes my mei mei in PJ during the 3 months course. Actually i didn expect that we can still keep in contact after i left the school. We meet early in the morning cos she need to go sch in the afternoon. Actually at firs im worried that after so long, will it be awkward when we meet, for e.g theres no topic to chat. However, once she came, she gave me a hug that was well just like the past and how i miss it. We went Long John for breakfast and sat there for a very long time to chat bout ShaoWei and Jane mostly. Now from what She tell me, i finally get to understand what does Shao Wei means that people do change. Jane had change and just like what my instinct told me, it was a negative change. Well, its a pity as she used to be so cute and innocent that i realli like being with her. But well, people do change.
I should oso thanz Amelia oso. Shes so thoughtful and sweet that she brought the year book for me, n fill me in bout how the others are doing, who n who are and were steading, who are those who are doing bad stuff and of course on how she was doing. Then i fill her in bout the people that i noe in the year book and stuff. I guess after today, we 2 will went out more often. Mayb during their June holis or her birthday.
Like i said many times, i guess im better in preserving frenship than creating frenship. This is why i have few frens but all frens are rather close and able to keep in contact after we left school and stuff like that. Though we cnt meet often but we do make effort. On the whole, its a fun and enjoying day.
Well, Yan Pei jus msg me to ask me out for movie, but till now theres still no sign of action..whahaha. I jus hope that frens will have more time to gather. Esp old frens. Oh ya, i bought Loreal skin care products today, hope they are good as my skin needs abit of treatment.
That will be all for today n again, i realli had fun. Hope all of u have your fun too.. 2 more weeks to sch reopen n i cnt wait to c e others frens oso...

My weakest side

2006-04-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

Last night, I have a break down, jus keep crying n crying. Its weird to b both chatting online n crying at e same time, but it realli did happen. Chatting with Alan online den happen to chat bout e past. Mao Mao yu de yi tian... both of us have pathetic things happening. He knew wat i was going thru, cos everything he say, i can feel the same n they r happening to me. To me, who can make me loose control? Nobody else but onli him. However, its been so long tt i cry for tt prsn already, hope last night will b e last. Seriously, Alan is e firs guy tt i ever exposed my weakest side to, i am surprised that i can easily exposed this side to him.
N thru last nite, I truly believe that i can let go le, knowing bout ones past realli can make u understand wat hes tinking n stuff bout him. Maintaining a frenship lyk this is well enough, n contented.
Well, nw Enting asked me to write bout e 8points bout my perfect man. Character wise, i realli dunno wat to write, cn i mix it with features?? Since its perfect man, no harm imagining right??
1. Tall...Hw tall? 180 will be e perfect height for me.
2.Tanned n fit.
3.At least older than me by a year.
4. Mature n responsible.
5. Open minded...(In that sense allow me to have my own free time)
6.Understand me well.
7. Can play piano and cook at the same time...(tts nt realli possible but i hope will realli have one.)
8. I tink is e most impt thing to me, can laugh and cry with me. Can share my dreams, my emotions, my goals with me....
Heehee...i dont tink there will b any man tt will fits e bill, even have, it will nt b my perfect man, it will b others de perfect man. Haha..I cn dream on...

Gossipy and New timetable...

2006-03-28T20:42:00.000+08:00

Went out to have lunch with Linnet. After the lunch, she come my hse and play mahjong with us. We didn realli have much time to chat due to the playing of mahjong but well, still a nice day together.
Got my timetable last night and i was being enrolled into FIT. At firs i was not very happy but after a while, i find that actually its not bad in FIT, at least i guess the class is fun and slack, the timetable too, lessons start late and end quite early, muahahaha....i tink if the classmates are nice.
At firs i wanted to appeal to IEF and send emails to Miss koh and Ms wong, well, after much tinking, i forgo the idea. Firsly is that i dont want to take the risk of going some class which i have no frens and have to start all over again. OK, im timid, but i jus don like uncertainties. Next, some place seems to have some problems even before the sem starts...-.-'' Thirdly, not necessary to have IEF to go university though it does helps ALOT. FIT wasnt easy oso. Lastly, I jus wan go with e flow, dont wan to do anything bout it.
Went sch today to see how was the appealing process with eve and may. After that we went Serene Centre to have a meal and sat there for bout 2 hours gossiping. Hahaha...super gossipy. But knew alot of stuff, some ppl are jus so so so so bad. Evil? Sacarstic? Childish? I tink its a combi of all three above ba. Den we continue talk about others...one main thing, jus keep on gossiping and gossiping.
Den we went to Orchard, intend to catch a movie but no good ones available so we went to walk around. We went Cine and PS. We visited all the cute cute shops and cute cute things, but bought nothing. Ltr on all 3 of us got tired and went to have a drink and started GOSSIPING again!!! Yes..talking bout the same old people, all the bad points burst at one time..muhahah. But on the other hand we are worried about some people.
Well hope nxt sem will be better and jiayou for studies ba though the class will slack together i guess. However i try to attend all lectures..yes tts e way... Have a fun day.

Rather boring week...

2006-03-25T12:46:00.000+08:00

Boring week, it realli was a boring week to me. From monday to thursday, i have been keeping myself in the house. Onli occasionally i went to the library to return and search for books or went jurong point for a walk to make sure that im still in touch with the world outside books and my house. Monday i could say that i was lucky to have borrowed my favourite authour book, its rare to find them in the library, available. Then i continue on to read them, and continue on on the story im writing. Last night i had a nightmare, it will only stuck at page 17. No, it was not possible. It will continue when i have finished my research.
Adventure onli come in at friday. Results were out. It was not bad i tink. Its better than i did expected as during the exam, i've blundered a few paper. The mistakes were big, could caused alot of marks. But maybe, im right afterall for one paper.
Macro--B+
BCA-----B
POA----A(Happy, cos the paper i had lots of miscalculations)
WCOM-B
BMGT--A(Which was suprising as i onli read thru once of my notes. Didn remember alot of stuff. Mayb its the project that have helped me.)
Well, 5 main is here already. The other 2 is IS, so i guess theres not a need for me to add them in. Overall GPA rises 0.458, which was good. Haha.
Then went KBOX with my bro and cousin. I agreed cos i have the money but jus feel that i need some relaxation and a good celebration. Though some my tot that this result need not call for a celebration. But tts me, every lil thing need to be celebrated. Hahaha.
Thats for all...bye n bye n bye ^^

I tot it dosent matter but actually is still matter alot.

2006-03-21T16:10:00.000+08:00

I tot death is such a natural process that if it occurs to my closest people, i wont feel a thing. But its not true, not true at all. I have come close to it now, though i hope its all jus my imagination, or i have been too pessimistic. Grandpa say he saw white cloth hanging around in the house when there isnt any. In the firs place there wasnt any white cloth in the house! He scare the wits out of my grandma and me. For the past few hours, i try to convince myself that all grandpa had seen was nothing but hallucination.
Till i asked Alan bout it. What do ghost realli look like. He told me it took e shape of human form, nth looks like white cloth. After i told him e whole story, and he say mayb its time to go n u noe those kind of stuff. I have it tinking mind which had already make me v edgy, v scared. However having someone said something that you tried to deny out is such a blow to you. I realli hope that it does not happen. Please...
Having to lose some one as close as my grandpa will realli be hell to me. I noe he had been weak, not feeling well since the operation. But i realli hope that he could gain some weight and be active like he was in the past. Tears just roll themselves down my cheek even if i want to control them. I noe i have been bad but im willing to exchange for anything for his life. It may seems stupid to blog something like this here. But this had shown my desperatness. PLeASE...

Activity of the week--Writing

2006-03-19T22:09:00.000+08:00

Another week of holiday had past. Can say that this week is rather filled up as i have stuff to do everyday. On mon, brought my grandpa to hospital for checkup. Tues, went expo with evelyn but haiz..my comic is realli out of stock. Wed brought my cousin for lunch. Thurs went Kbox and fri went bowling. Cousin had come to stay on thurs night till sat night. Through the three days, we keep playing mahjong, dunno how many rounds have been played. Haha.
Fri night, we went national library and Im so happy to be there. It had been a while since I went there. Its new and i borrowed two books. I think they can substain me for awhile, keep me away from boredem when the kids have went back to school. Furthermore, its so near my house, which means that i can spend my afternoons there to look for books. At the same time looking for materials for my new story which is coming up. Well, for those who new me, im certainly not a bookworm, just that sometimes when i got into books, i will spend alot of my time on them.
Well, for the rest of next week, beside visiting the library, i guess i will be improving my english on my grammer and vocab. I simply need more vocab to make my new story to be a good and interesting one. Then continue on my stories, Princess and Identity. I tink Princess have been neglected for awhile since holiday. Then if im really too bored with writing, mayb i will proceed to the TV for some VCDS. Cos everyone is going back to school you see, i have no one to go out with me anymore. ><
I simply love writing. Maybe my style of writing have not been that matured yet, maybe it will be affected by my not so good english but i realli hope to make writing my living. A script writer had always been my dream since Sec3. From this week of writing, im determined enough to choose drama and poetry as my IS module now. Then maybe i can pass my scripts to my IS teacher then maybe i really have the talent in it? Heehee. SOunded as if im dreaming, but i realli hope so.
Well, a long entry of ranting and i hope holiday wont be that much of a bore if i realli write..Haha. Night everyone.

Walking ard orchard..

2006-03-10T20:18:00.000+08:00

Like i said, there will be a second entry today. Well went orchard with eve today. My aim is to get a sports bra and my comics. However, my comics even at Kino oso out of stock. I tink my onli hope will b on nxt wk when i go to changi expo for e exhibition. Den went to some sports shop to c, howeva, even without offer, Nike still cost me a bomb, so decided not to buy n we left Taka empty handed.
Headed for Far East next. Aim is to buy bikini for eve. We walked around a few shops, browsing around n both of us settle on 2 tee shirts. Howeva mine is abit too small, so i decide to give to cousin. Den shop around again n Eve finally settle on this bikini which cost 20 odd. Y dont i buy? Cos rather ex and i still dont have the figure to wear, aim to slim down soon. However i bought something else from the shop too, sooo nice...
Den went Heeren for photo taking session. We took photo at the new machine and yes, the picture come out quite nice. But we quite stupid la. At firs we tot the pen is spoilt and lost, but actually it dropped and we didn see it untill the end of everything. Den went Cine for breakfast cum lunch cum dinner. We sat there for 2 full hours, chatting and gossiping. Never expect us to sit there for so long, n we knew quite alot of things. After everything we went home at bout 6pm. Its realli fun today n we date each other on thurs or tues again.
Went home i took bus 174. But on the bus, tts this guy realli v smelly. I cnt actually breath with him beside me, n i guess those around him oso cannot stand the smell.
Well thats all for today...nicest ever since the start of holiday. Im super tired now, tink i gonna slp early tonite...i tink..haha

Fourth Day of Holi-- Thursday

2006-03-10T11:08:00.000+08:00

Mayb there will b 2 entries today. One entry is for yesterday n one for today. Well one major event yesterday was that Grandpa finally discharge from hospital. Howeva he dont seems to be in a very good condition. Mayb its due to the hot weather and my house is not very suitable for resting and recouping ba. Den i observe my grandpa, his legs are realli skinny, even skinner than me. Hes realli very skinny, he suffered so much, n it felt so... hes only left with bones.
Bought one clothes yesterday, had fantastic chicken burger. It was rather nice i think but my mummy and bro say its not nice. well, different people have different taste.
Yesterday nite, i slept onli at 4am. With people chatting with me. Though that person didn admitted it, but he didn deny it oso. Purposely stay up n pei me wait till 4am to wake my faher up. He had been sleeping late recently though, but finally one day he didnt have to slp late, he has to pei me till 4, ><. But im rather grateful and appreciate it. Well mayb we can realli be good friends? I hope so..haha.
Im rather a failure too. Bcos i say before i wan to give up n for weeks i realli didn feel anything, even last time when we msg each other, i didn feel anything special. Till last nite, when we chat, he brought me alot of laughter and told me alot of stuff, though we didn realli went into anything in depth. Mayb its another frenship that takes time, but at least he willing to tell me some stuff, n we did exchange quite a no of lame jokes n we have some jolly good laugh.
If every nite can have these kind of good chat, it will be good. Anyway going to orchard with eve later. COs of Nike sales...abit auntie hor...haha. That will be all for now. Bye everyone.

2nd day of Holi

2006-03-07T20:11:00.000+08:00

Wake up.
Look at that squarish box again.
Went to visit grandpa again

Have a tiff with my brother.
He jus dont get his pirorty orgainised.
A new HP doesnt means the whole world,
delaying every single task.
That includes bathing and get changed

Visited grandpa and saw uncle.
Grandpa was well, able to eat.
Went dinner at 6pm.
Hao getting married this week,
age=31.

He seems alot more uncle than years ago.
His bride wasnt as beautiful as expected.
But well, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Days passed. Years Passed.
He cant recognised me n i cnt recognised him.
2 or more years ltr, i guess,
we cnt even talk.

One line to conclude all,
Time wont slow down for anyone

FiRs Day oF holi

2006-03-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

Firs Day of Holi,
Have nothing to do.
JUs lie around watching de TV n VCDS..
Lucky I still have them to accompany me..

VCDS quite nice, not too heavy not too light.
Jus nice for my mood..
Went JP today,
At least theres somewhere to go,
Double chocolate and Oreo Cheesecake as usual.

Went GH.
Grandpa shift out of High Dependency Unit.
He seems alot better and talk much.
Can be discharged within one or two days.
Missed him rather much.

How much is holi going to b?
Can time much faster or give me more stuff to do.
Starts on late April.
God! 2 MONTHS!!

Post Exams activities..

2006-03-04T01:04:00.000+08:00

Went Marina Square for e firs time today with may enting n eve. Though there suppose to be a class outing, we choose to miss it n go for an outing among ourselves. We went there for lunch and bowling. We ate MAc n sat there gossip alot of stuff. I tink our mouth, esp me n enting will rot one day cos we realli say till v ugly. But i enjoyed e gossiping actually, haha. After that we went bowling. Played three games n each game, eve keep emerging the winner, haiz..... But not bad leh, i gt 2 strikes today, but at firs i nt good at all, cos of e positioning of my hands, waste my firs game, haiz. After tt we went to walk around and ended up at Esplanade. Quite windy there, n we found out that may nv eat candy floss before! Hahaha...Everyone were shocked cos its not possible, n realli no childhood.
We sat there awhile n left but today, time realli flies n its fun. I headed towards e hospital after that. Grandpa was sleeping n so we when for dinner. When we went up, grandpa happen to wake up n i fed him a few sips of water. Hes seems alot better than yesterday n he had a lil chat with my dad. Its realli a lil chat as he cnt realli move much due to the pain in his wound. Im glad i cn do some stuff for my grandpa, n im even happier to c him able to talk to my father, this shows that hes better i tink..
Still haven tink of wat to do in e holidays, but many ask me to take a rest firs before i plan anything. But im someone whos afraid of bordem. U wan me take a rest n do nth? No, tts nt possible...
Well, that wil b all for tonite...nite everyone

My grandpa...

2006-03-02T23:33:00.000+08:00

My grandpa jus had his operation today, to remove the tumour somewhere around his collen. According to the doctor, its not a v easy operation, have to operated twice due to the profusely loss of blood. Due to this, my grandpa may not recover as fast as expected, it may took him a week for the pain to go. I went into the high dependency room and take a look at him. Though hes v skinny nw, without his dentures on, lil hair on his head n in great pain, i still find him good looking. He mus b a handsome young man during his prime time. High nose and fine features.
Im tinking bout e times me n my grandpa had spend, n i guess its wonderful. He brings me to places n brought me lots of stuff tt i love. But e difference is he had aged alot n i have grown up. Onli recent years when i started to get busy with my work n stuff, i start to talk to him less, n watch less TV with him. The time we used to have had been reduced to e v percious lil time. Its onli nw at hm, when e living room is empty without him, den i start to feel the abscence of his presence and how important he is. Realli hope he cn get well soon n jus like before, walk around as n where he like with his healthy body.
Today is the last paper n i cn say its tricky. But once u c the trap n avioded it, e paper is actually nothing. But well due to carelessness, i tink i got a few stuff wrong, esp at e calculating of months. I owas had problems with it.
Well, that will b e end of today entry. Bye n nite to everyone!

How do you define sucess in life?

2006-03-01T18:24:00.000+08:00

Last nite, father and i have a small chat. Perhaps he had too much beer or issit that he had bear it inside for too long, he finally told me wat he felt all these years. Since when im 12, i knew that my father had lost his job due to an injury on his back. All these years till now, he never get a stable and nice job. All along, his pay is onli enough for his own expenses like cigarettes and beer, he had none for us. All the expenses in the house is all afforded by my mum. He told me wat a failure he felt he was n was sorry to make my mother work so hard. I told him he had us, 3 kids n we r all so big already, cnt say we r v obedient but we r still nt tt bad after all, n my mum didn say anything n she was willing to do anything to prevent the family from falling apart. Den my father replied, hes a man, he cnt possibly stay behind his women all his life. I realli dont noe wat to reply cos i tink that everything is not important, but mayb to him, yes, he did seriously wan to provide something for the family, n yet he cnt. I tink he mus regretted for nt working hard during his younger days n how he had missed the opportunity to gained sucess. Wat is impt is, most imptly, hes my dad n we will all love him e same, no matter if hes sucessful or not, cos e love he gave us is genuine, n we had all felt it.
Well i went to study today, didn realli get to study much but still spend an hour or so to study. Saw Rachel n emon at Taman Mac too, helped em a lil i tink, jus v lil. This time i realli hope that i will achieve a good results for my POA. After tml, i cn relaxed but i will b busy finiding a job. Hope the interview tml will b a sucess.
That will b all for today's entry. Cya everyone.

Tidied up my room

2006-02-27T23:09:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a fun day at grandma hse. We had steamboat for lunch and dinner, those kind of bbq ones. I have alot of chicken cos its simply so nice plus i added alot of garlic on it. I made quite alot for my cousins oso n dey say i realli put alot of garlic, but well, garlic is nice. During the two meals, im owas standing for e convinence of bbq the food. I jus like doing the work for ppl. When i c they eat with satisfaction, im happy. Other than that its a v normal sunday, played mahjong n stuff. But well, cousin cant join us as she have to prepare for her exams today, tml, wed n thurs ><>
Im gonna stay at hm these two days till wed. Seriously i have nth to do n nobody to go out with. Ppl r either studying, preparing for exams or working, while me, im nt studying n im nt working. For today, i watched a couple of hours of television n tidy up my room. Finally i found a place to placed my new set of comics, n i feel that everywhere is much neater. For tml, i tink i will b studying n reading some comics to spend away my free time.
Qianyi called today n ask me to go for work n i say ok. This coming holi will realli b boring for me cos cousin gt attachment n she is normally e one who squander e whole holiday with me. So no choice no ppl pei me le n i have to go to work. Cn spend my time n at e same time earn some money. But still dunno if e boss will employ me nt??
Something has been going wrong these few days. I dunno wat n why but i jus feel that something is seriously very wrong, i feel weird n uncomfortable with. Mayb its cos i too much free time le, causing me to tink too much le ba..
Haha...that will be all for tonite entry. Nite Nite

The 2 papers...

2006-02-25T21:22:00.000+08:00

Well, its sat now n i have completed 2 paper. Macro n BMGT. For Macro, i prepared in advance but somehow e questions tt come out abit nt expected. Answer quite clumsily but i guess still can managed. If im lucky, my A remain, but mus probably it will b a B. For BMGT, i didn study much, i jus read thru once n rmb v lil of e points. To me, i tink agar agar noe cn le, no need so detailed. Today, enting dey all test me de managed to come out so am rather lucky. But still i gt 10mrks leave blank cos i dont even noe wat is it talking bout. So..add up to 27 marks gone. But nvm la, i dont aim much for BMGT, so long as its better than my OB grade a C cn le, even if it remain oso cn..haha. I have 5 days to study for POA, which im pretty confident, n i aimed for an A. I mus score at least 80 for the paper to score A. Cn i get it? I guess cn ba?? Mus study hard i tink. GPA mus up..heehee.
After BMGT, it feel lyk e whole exam its over n cn relax le though theres still another paper on thurs. But jus feel relaxed n i no need bother bout stuff tt i didn touch for e whole sem. Went jp at MAcafe ar firs, den chatted awhile, den n to ppl sing for e whole afternoon. My legs r aching n im quite sian with it but enting enjoys everything..haha.
Dont say i BHB la, sometimes i feel that im quite smart leh..haha. In some ways not though sometimes i cn b v blur, cn understand stuff v easily. Howeva if ever i cn feel e stress n give out my best in everything, im sure i cn achieve something. Budden blame it to my character or wat, i cnt take anything seriously or i jus take them v easily. If i wanna achieve something, i wont give out my best to achieve it too... I noe its v v v lousy but tts me.. Haiz.
Hope my results will b good n e others results r good too.. tt will b all for tonite. Nitezzzz :D

2 days at home...

2006-02-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

I've been staying at home for 2 full days. Nowhere to go n nobody to out with. Furthermore im super bored. Too bored to go out or too bored to b at hm. Dont ask me wat do i wan. I oso dunno wat i wan. But i guess tml, fri n sat, i cfm going out though i may nt realli wan to go out. Stay at hm manage to complete studying macro last nite. However when i wanna proceed to BMGT, i found out tt i no mood at all. No mood to study at all, stupid module plus stupid tutor n lecturer.
I came across this chinese song yesterday. Though i noe of its presence long time age but its e firs time i go look at its lyrics. Seriously, its a v gd poem, put away e melody n e singing of e singer, the lyrics is simply a good poem though i believe nt many ppl will understand it. Cos for me, i oso understand v lil of it, jus a lil part here n there. I studied e lyrics n i managed to onli noe wat it mean on e surface, nt realli that in depth yet. To tink that in this kind of times, such ancient language will appear in a song lyrics. If u wan noe wat e poem looks lyk, refer to my msn personal space, i leave a line which i like it alot there. Its a love poem bout how this guy had been seperated frm his gal though hes nt willing to, hw sad n vulnerable he is.
Suddenly do i realise that this moment nw, im nt seeking for my other half anymore. Love is nt my piorty in my life nw. Though i realli wan to experience it but im nt realli looking for it nw. If u ask me wat am i looking for now, i cn tell u i dont noe n im nt sure. Nth seems to b realli important to me. But if u realli wan me to state, den mayb my family will come firs.... sounds v guai issit? But nope, nt tt im guai but jus that im worried...haha
Well, that will b all for today, nite everyone!!

BCA Final Test.. Suffering for Insomnia??

2006-02-20T18:28:00.000+08:00

Well today went sch early for BCA test. Frankly speaking i didnt realli study much for the test, n i discover that i onli noe how to do a few functions like the VLOOKUP, SUMIF, COUNT, MIn, MAx n Average. N tts all i tink. However, this time the test, i tink its much easier and in some ways, its better than last weeks. Mayb due to sufficient time ba. However still i waste too much time on the front part, causing me not realli enough time to do the other stuff but still hope that i have enough marks to pass. This time for certain part, surprisingly, by anyhow clicking it, i cn get e right thing..haha, lucky isnt it??
I suspect im suffering from Insomnia or issit that my life have realli bcom upside down? I realli cnt slp in the night. Too much stuff inside my mind n i will onli feel the tiredness at bout 3am in the night or at least 3am in the night. Even if i sleep at 2, i cnt even slp at all. I cn even hang on til 4am plus den go slp.
Read comics KYO again. Somehw i feel that the drawing style have been changed abit n furthermore, i realli quite dissappointed with the story flow. Its rather ridiculous u cn say. Im not going to say e story out cos i will cost me more than 3 pages of story telling. But hw can robots, puppet or dolls given birth to kid? EVen they give birth to kids, cn dey still consider as robots, puppet n dolls?? If they are puppets with life den how come, dey can be like robots, lifeless when the energy source be plugged out? If its so how can they give birth, how can their children b controlled too?
Haiz..alot of question mark in me now but i guess as the story unfolds, more questions will be answered. But i jus hope that my fave character can recover its conscious cos i rather not happy how hes stop cos hes strong in some sense.
Well, on sat, its e firs time we realli chat using SMS, some kind of an advance rite? But tt period of msging, i didn realli tink that much. A new fren for me i guess.
I gt to jiayou for exams too le cos nw im betting with Ling Xiang. Well, dont care if i win or loose, but cn go out for a drink or smth with old frens seems nt a bad good idea rite? Haha..
Well, that will b all for todays entry. Bye everyone!!

Sister gathering--Movie

2006-02-18T12:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday is the long planned sister gathering, well we went for the movie, The Pink Panther. Well, its realli been long since we went for movie or went out. Well, we laugh alot, though sometimes, e sttiff that we laugh about is nth realli that funny, but well, thats our practice. When with them, i laugh alot. Then we decide that we meet for movie once a month, haha, then in this way, we can always keep in contact!!! I dunno how long this frenship can goes, but i jus hope that it can go on as long as possible. how many people still stay in contact with their Pri sch frens n still so close? I guess not many rite? N tts y i realli treasure this frenship.
Well Pink Panther was realli a nice show. Every minute you will be laughing, though the jokes are rather lame. But lame is the thing that keeps making me laugh n laugh n laugh. Not much of a moral here n there, but if u are in a bad mood, its a good movie. Im sure your mood will be better if u watch that show--thats wat i believe.
Well, its a fun nite for me. N i certainly hope that it will always be...

Since blogging...

2006-02-17T15:13:00.000+08:00

Its been a while since i firs started blogging. Unknowingly, this is already i tink e 80th entry. When i firs started blogging, i nv expect tt i cn keep on blogging for so long as my enthusasiam for stuff cn nv last. Howeva, nw blogging seems to b another part of my life. I blog when im bored, when im happy n when im sad. Mayb mainly cos i like to write bout stuff, n thru blogging, alot of my tots n emtions can b channel out to those reading my blog though it dont have many readers. Nw i have start another story blog, which is already in Part 7. Well, mayb this cn allowed me to somehw fufill my dream being a scriptwriter, an author or someone who creates stories. Voicedout.blogspot.com, feel free to read it.
Well, yesterday went for e movie, I nt stupid too. Alot of people say its nice n funny, but when i watched it, i dont realli tink so. Alot of parts are nt necessary cn b cut, e parts r there jus to drag e show. If e show is much shorter, mayb, it will b more touching. E problem how parents n children communicate cn b more emphasis on daily life events instead of studies and interest. Daily life stuff mayb the taste and preference in stuff, or e difference in perception. Though they managed to mention that how parents refused to listen to their children, but did children ever try to understand their parents. I dare to say im nt, so i tink this part shld b included. The story onli portray the view from children but nt on the parents as well. Well, mayb tts y its the children view, no blame is being fall on the children, like smoking, joining gang, stealing money, robbing. Im sure parents have tot em, but still they refused to tink wats wrong n rite. Though theres reason behind those wrongs but wrong means wrong. If im e parents, i will b utterly dissappointed and sad. Even if theres no way out, they should not resort to extreme means. This is e part where dont realli makes sense n still wans us to understand. Though i believe many people will accept it readily.
Yesterday bought my new hp. Starting to get use to it but the camera is the part which i realli cnt accept cos its super super sucky. Budden well, since i bought tt already, i have to accept it. Haiz. Ltr going for sister gathering. Finally the four of us. Not three or two. Going for movie--Yeah!! Looking forward to it.
Well, that will be all for today. Cya!!

Happy Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

Happy Valentine day to all of u! Hope all of u have a nice valentine day.
Well, wat bout me? My valentine day is definiely not romantic or exciting one but still not to e extend of lonely. Jus tt i have no valentine, does going out with a few friends consider as not interestin?? Well, we jus went JP n shop ard, watch a movie and tts all. At least i have friends during Valentine and not me myself alone.
We watched Fun with Dick and Jane. I tink i realli not cut out for comedy. Comedy cant realli attract me into e show itself. Im quite restless during the show and i jus cnt realli jump into the show itself. I agree its not a bad show but somehw i jus feel that its abit ridiculous or crazy, dont realli fits into logic.
Well, mayb im getting abit adult. Cnt accept madness and crazy ideas anymore. Haiz, turning 18, getting old. Or jus tt im born serious? kinda sad to admit no matter which one is e fact.
But well, im nw very open with it? So what i dont have a Valentine? So long as i have my friens around it will b alrite.
Changing phone. Hope that my Samsung phone quick quick come. I wanted that phone alot before e promotions ends..Haha
Well, that will b for all. Enjoy!!

Tiring day..but fun...

2006-02-09T20:49:00.000+08:00

Today went sch at 9. On e bus at firs i tot i saw him, budden c wrong. Atrium gt alot of ppl, dunno wats happening, but i suppose its engineering week. Well, walking to lect hall tt time saw e real him. After so long, finally c him but nv get a good look. But forget it, i say before its time to let things goes naturally. He online oso, after dunno hw many days, 2 wks i suppose. Dunno wats happening to him but none of my business oso...
Den after lect me n enting went cck for kbox session. We surprisingly eat nth leh, jus walk n shop ard. Den i saw many tiggers which i wanted to buy. Finally settle on one which cost me bout $19...Haiz... Den took 2 sets of neoprints which help us spend e rest of our free time. E firs one looks sucky but e second one i tink is nice, i like it.
Den went kbox. As usual i dont dare to sing at firs cos i noe myself, i tone deaf wat. I cn sing but mus with e singer singing . At least tt cn guide me to e correct tone. Enting say actually i cn sing n wanna train me without e singer singing but... i too lousy liao, cnt manage at all. E singing jus completely out of control when e thingy is off. We both sing alot of songs n nw den jus reach hm.
Have fun with enting today. So long nv go out liao, finally once.... Nw i shld nt b too bothered with his stuff. I promise myself i will be happy with frens ard. So i will stay happy!!

If onli he comes to life...

2006-02-06T23:47:00.000+08:00

Everytime i read a comic, there will b a problem. Which is i will get so involved in the comic n fall so deeply in love with one of e characters. Nw im in love with Hotaru. Hes sOOOOOOOOOO cute in his own way. Hes expresionless. No expression on his face at all, he wont smile or get angry, onli sometimes there will b this very cruel smile on his face. However, hes jokes nv fail to make me laugh. Is not that he wans to create jokes but jus tt he dont like to use he head n think n owas choose e simplest n easiest way out to things, further more with his poker card face. He is forgetful n cares nth other than himself n getting stronger. U realli cnt fathom wat on his mind n stuff. Hes controlling e fire elements.
If he comes to life, i will definitely go mad?or will I? If he realli comes to life, i guess i will go bonkers cos its realli so scary to think of someone so strong living in this world. Furthermore i guess, he feels nth for women..men oso. Jus himself except for his elder brother n another guy. One word to conclude all is, hes sooooooooOOOO cute. But i guess he wont make a v gd bf.
Went jp to walk walk today. Exchange my pendant n have a cup of chocolate with enting at macafe. Chatted a lil. Quite nice e feeling, a gd n filling n satisfying day.
Brought my grandma to hospital oso. Long time didn go out with her alone le. I rmb e last time shld b when im Pr6, forget go where le. Did make me think much. If nw i dont spend much time with em, when cn I?? Mus learn to treasure em. No matter wat, its cos of em tt makes me wat i am today.
Tts all for today. Nite everyone. Im sOOOOOO happy today!!

Finally all projects done...

2006-02-03T21:36:00.000+08:00

Finally all projects done n handed in except for e IAC we need to print out de survey forms. K, its all my fault, my mistake cos i send e wrong file to people n end up becoms lyk tt. Haiz. But on e whole i tink we did a gd job except e handing in late of report. Last LMS and IAC lesson oso. Tt means nxt fri onwards i have no lessons for fri n no need go sch! Cn slp all i wan! Yeah!!
Yup, finally everything done n complete. So tt means frm nw till end of term, i cn at least relax n enjoy abit. At sch keep seeing Ye xiong. Its dunno e hw many times liao, realli so qiao? Dunno la. But everytime see him its like so out of my timetable de time.
After sch went shopping with my cousin. Suppose to buy bdae present for her de, end out she didn found something nice so i guess i have to think of other stuff to give her. Den bought her bro present. End out, i bought a pendant n a necklace which cost me almost $40. A 4leaf clover pendant. Tot to bring gd luck to whoever who owns it. I bought it in wish tt it could realli bring me some luck. Ate crystal jade...yummy yummy.
Come to think of it, its been a long time since i tok n chatted with him online. But its nt my fault cos hes nt online at all. I dont wish to keep msging him forwarded msg too. Unless he sent me firs. Hope of seeing in sch today de, but didn c him oso. Haiz.. Mayb tts e end? I dunno oso. We will c bout it la.
Tts e end of today entry. Nite everyone.

Back to school...

2006-02-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

After 5days of break, we are back to sch again n firs day of sch, we have 4hrs of break. We went bukit panjang plaza for bowling. Third position for firs game, first position for second game and second position during e third game. For e second game, i gt 4 spare which is e best results i have ever --113. Yeah!!
Went back sch gt macro test results. I gt 19 out of 20. But nt v happy though cos i cn get 20. Jus cos of careless, wrote one less '0', i lost tt one mrks. I even wrote out e equation jus tt i forget to write an xtra 0 out. Grrr...
After sch went qianyi hse to bai nian, jean went oso. Its been so long since we last met together n chat. Cn sAy its a heartfelt chat. It feels so good having old friends ard u. I tink this is e 14th year we have met n known each other. Wow, tts a long period of time isnt it? Tts y i treasure this friendship alot. I always make an effort to meet her once in a while. Often it will b e most sincere form. We will nt hide anything n chatted all we wan Hw i hope we can owas stay in this way. Old friends r owas better than e new ones. Den dey come my hse n gamble n i won onli $1. muhahaha.
Im sick! Terribly sick! Tml planned to go shopping at firs but end out tt im so sick to go out n i don have e time too. I guess nxt time perhaps. Sat gonna go jean hse. Muhaha.

Happy Chinese to Everyone!!

2006-01-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

Firstly, wish all of u a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
Thursday, uncle finally came back frm ShangHai n spend his new year with us. Oso, on thurs, i
went for eyebrow triming n eyelash perming. I had said tt i wan to do those stuff for a period of time, but cnt find e time. Till thurs when there is no sch, i went. E eyelash perming is obvious as today gt ppl ask if i have done anything to my eye lashes..haha. Den finally did some touchup to my hair oso. I mean e colour. It have been months since i dyed it. Nw i add some colour on, n this time its more obvious than e last dye. All for chinese new year. lol.
Thurs nite me n cousin have a lil tiff, but all was over nw n both of us, unknlwingly dont wish to tok bout this. We both noe tt fault lies in both of us so we shhhhhhhhhh..........
Den today its e reunion dinner, e chinese ney year eve. Well, seriously this yr has no mood at all, theres no sense of new year in e air. As usual, after dinner, GAMBLING!!. I won onli $1. lol.
After everything, we went CCK to look at e new year flowers with a few of my uncles n cousins. E kids(including me) sat behind e pickup. Its open space, thus as e engines goes, e wind blows n its feels so wonderful, i simply enjoy e wind, except tt its too cold -BRR...
Actually no new year resolution. Jus one thing, hope tt i cn learn to save more money..Hee hee hee.
Once again, HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!!!

Some days to rest....

2006-01-25T23:44:00.001+08:00

Well, today went sch at 12 for POA tutorial. If no POA, den there will b no lesson le but haiz. Haiz again cos chang fang nv bring comic for me. I suddenly feel so guilty for may la cos nv bring charger for her n in e end still owe her $4. Den after sch we go n do project. Say nice is do project la but i have done nth. But seriously, i dont feel guilty at all. ><
Seriously, some ppl mouth r realli powerful n not fearful of aything. Dey cn gossip in front of me, furthermore its so loud n clear. Nt e firs time somemore, during LMS lesson tt time oso. Admire their courage for this, applaus. (SACARSM)
Well, at hm plan of giving myself a rest de. Mayb slack ard, read comics, read magazine. But after tt, i gt some motivation n started doing project again. One more to chiong but this one is realli v rush. Howeva, jus nw do abit liao, suddenly feel tt its nt alot after all.
E motivation is tt he send me a forward msg. Firs time he sent me forward msg. So happy. I guess is cos i help him do balance sheet all these do till i siao. Its a way of saying thanz to me i suppose but still im on cloud nine when i recieve tt. Haha.
Nite, chatted with him. He told me tt he go n ask for a gal no. U noe, im suddenly so jealous tt i actually didn wan to tok to him anymore. But ltr on, he told me tt its nth but a joke. I was like, wth. But im happy tt is nt a fact, happy tt its jus a joke.Well..wat r frens for..Hahaha
Well, tts all for today. Nite everyone

Going craZy oVer ProjEct

2006-01-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

Went home from grandma hse till nw, keep sitting at my comp doing project. Searching for e political part. For e.g wat license is required to open up a cafe, wat r e rules n regulations. For e firs 45 min, i cnt find anything at all lo. I so pek chek. Den complain to him. Who noes tt he immediately send me those websites required. Some of these websites oso thanz to juliana help me find.
Ok, i rather gan dong when he send me those websites cos in e firs place i onli wans to complain n get it off my chest. But jus a few minutes later, he came with a few useful websites. He say he free so help me find some, but its enough already. Isnt't it?? Some close frens wont even help u on these. However who noes, when i changed those stuff, i forget to save and everything gone!! Bout 1hr plus de work jus gone lyk tt!! At tt pt of time, i realli feels lyk crying cos i realli put in alot of effort to find those stuff.
Nw, i didn manage to cover wat i did jus nw but at least gt some information on Environment Health Act. At least it gotta b some help.
Well, i still held on to this stupid feelings, yet i noe its impossible cos im still so unimportant. Howeva me gt e facts rite le. I need nt b impt to him, i will jus b myself. Dont expect to b his no 1, jus b frens n it will b alrite.
Smile foreva n dont b stress up by SCH WORK!!

Gt to control.....

2006-01-20T23:10:00.000+08:00

Today having LMS n IAC lesson again. Surprisingly, today IAC lesson is nt sitting there doing nth, at least we have to do some stuff n present at e end of e lesson. Den LMS lesson gt tok bout ghost all these, so its quite interesting oso.. esp bout e story bout e mokey's paw. At e pt of time, though its in e afternoon, i still feel e chillness. E monkey's paw is smth evil i guess.
Den went hm with cousin. Shes with a few frens. N when i go, i tink dey r talking bout me but i dunno wat dey r talking bout so... Went bus stop saw Alan again. For e second time today. Cos took e same bus with him to sch today. Dunno if he managed to c me nt. Den all of us board e same bus again. I really really feel tt im so useless la. When i c him in person, i don even dare to talk to him, don even dare to look at him, scared tt one look at him, he might noe what im tinking. I tot it will b easy, i tot tt after all e chatting on MSN, we will turn out to b closer n may have chatted more, budden it turned out tt im still more at ease when i talk to Sherman, cn do stupid facial expression. I feel so stupid with it la, when did i ever turn into this timid gal? I jus feel so vulnerable at it!
Nw cousin in my hse, chatting online away with Alan. Somehw i feel tt im abit jealous. Nt jealous of him talking to my cousin. But jus jealous tt when cn i ever cn have such a conversation with him. Well, at this rate im going, i guess i cnt even help him celebrate his bdae for him or even buy him a bdae gift, cos i don have e kind of close relationship. But hey, im tinking bout stuff tt i shld nt tink again liao. No no! I shld stop tinking bout this stuff n stop all my troubles n unhappiness.
I guess its all these stuff tt makes me unhappy. For this present stage, i onli need frens families n accomplishment in my studies. When fate comes it will come, i don have to worry for myself. Jiayou Jiayou..

C alot of ppl, buy alot of things, spend alot of $$$....

2006-01-19T22:11:00.000+08:00

Went for morning lect today n when we waiting for may dey all, saw alan. At far he looks realli lyk wilbert. E height n size n stuff, looks realli alike. At firs i tink is wilbert so i turned away. But enting says, ' he smile at u y u nv...' I immediately turned again n wave hi to him, he too waved n smile back..hahaha. Abit paiseh lo. JUs as he walked off, may msg me tt she will b late n no need wait for her le. So coincidence rite? Jus for me to sit there n wait for him to come.
After lect we went Bukit Panjang Plaza. So long nv go liao. Shld nt have go there cos i spend almost $50 there. Bought a anklet, ring, bag, one tiger hp accessories, eat lunch n these cost me bout $50. Plus e 2 comics i bought, wow..reaching for $60!! BUt well, we have fun shopping, everyone at least bought some stuff. Den we went there de lib to study. I tink we v noisy lo.. onli we keep toking n toking.
Went back sch at bout 4. In e exam hall, im stunned cos i tot i saw Alan. But..haha its nt, jus look alike onli. I mean e hair n side view all this looks realli alot. While doing my test, i keep looking over lo..><>
Den went home. But at bus stop tt time, Wilbert came over n tok to us, which is another qi ji. Cos their clique de rarely toks to us de. Onli once in a while. I tink mayb dey realli wans to improve e class relationship?? Den saw TC...haha n seldom c him in sch, firs time c him at e bus stop there. Suddenly like today c alot of ppl. Well, somemore all v rare c de???
2 test over n mus get prepared for e nxt one nxt tues. But i believe, i cn make it de.. Yeah.. Resting rox...

Comics comics...

2006-01-19T00:34:00.000+08:00

Gt back my test paper today, gt 75. Well i nt v happy actually cos i guess i cn do better. But e ans tt i gt wrong, i have nth to say, cos is i dunno de except for this one qns tt i didn realli tink tt thorough. One qn at firs i anyhw guess de correct but change e ans, shld trust my instinct more.
Anyway, Ng kok tiong realli cn mark. 2 different sets of paper den yesterday going 7 den end test, he cn gt it all mrk by today afternoon. He realli pro marker man.
Well bough 4 comics today. Wow, its realli long tt i eva gt so into comics. I rmb its onli during sec one tt i scrimp n save tt i cn bought 4 comics per week. But this is already e 5th book this week n its onli wed. I simply gt into KYO so much la. Or rather at e ending, it usually becomes e part tt makes me wanna read on. N i checked e webby already, its owas on e top fave list. N before i knew it i guess sooner or ltr i will noe more bout Japan de history, cos alot of stuff is on its history. 34 books n its still nt completed yet. I guess its realli a nice set of comics.
Well at least comics brought me into e world tt i nv guess i cn imagine n i simply love it so much. N it allows me to have smth to do at hm, nt tinking this n tt making myself sad n everything. Yeah yeah! Say cheers to happy life. Gong xi gong xi to everyone!!

Learning to put everything aside...

2006-01-17T21:56:00.000+08:00

After toking to a few ppl yesterday, i found out tt i cnt keep on tinking of him n cnt move on. Yes, hes still on my mind n keep bugging me but at least when he appears, i cn fight off e thoughts n starts to tink bout smth else. I believe tt sooner or ltr, i cn recover frm everything, i cnt simply owas indulge in tt kind of melancholy mood.
Well today went sch at bout 1. Actually today cn dont go sch but sad, theres a POA test. Went sch early to study for e test yet sadly, i cnt concentrated onli managed to complete lecture 8 tutorial.
Well, e test was a tough one, found out tt i have alot of careless mistake. Hope tt i cn at least score a 17, already deducted some mrks n pls dont deduct anymore. Ltr on we discover tt actually e qns r juggle up. Different paper have different qn sequencs. When we compare our ans tt time, all of us were shock.
Went Jp after tt. To buy my dinner n c gt wat comics to buy. End out buy KYO. Which is a set of comic which i wanted to buy a long time ago. Its a long series, 20 over of em n im gonna broke soon if i buy em all. However, e comic is nice la, i like e story though i still nt use to e drawing style of e author.
E comic is bout this guy who have a split personality. One side of him is v humane, timid but friendly while other one is v cruel n his fighting skills is gd. Though a comic is a lil bit...
So its time to stay happy n cheerful again n stop thinking onli bout BGR stuff cos in life, theres still alot thing more than tt.. ^^

I rather there isnt anything left frm u...

2006-01-15T22:34:00.000+08:00

For those who have knew me well, u shld noe tt im owas in tt stupid situation, guessing tt who does this particular person treat me as n hw shld i treat him. N usually, i try to make e distantce seems as distant as it cn b. Tts becos tt im so afraid tt if i tink too much out of e whole thing, i will eventually hurt too much. Even for me to consider someone as a fren, its still a v v v great process, cos to me, before frens, theres still much more relationships.
E past have definitely brought me alot of burden, regardless of frenship or BGR. I have tried to put em away, off my mind however it jus keeps haunting me. I rather i dont tok to him foreva than noeing tt e rlsp between us have totally disintergrate into nth more than ex-classmates. Howeva, i cn still c him online, im still tempt to tok to him yet theres no courage. I like e song firs love there says, ' u will owas b on my mind...' I noe he will owas b here n shall owas remain as memories. Howeva, i hate these memories cos i rather there isnt anything left frm u, even memories, or rather, i hope i have nv known u before.
Nw, hw afraid am i tt e new him will jus b gone lyk tt. To other gals ard... 'is it going to start?' who? When? wat? I noe im going hysterical cos im going crazy. Im stuck in between! I wanna keep away e old one n go after e new one. Yet i have absolutely NO courage!! Everything in e past have stop me frm going on. Im owas said tt im waiting tts bcos i cn do nth beside waiting. Waiting someone who cn replace him n bring me enough courage to let go.
Why do u come onli when u needed me or when theres something u wan out of me?? Cos i noe tt between u n me, theres nth more!!

Halfday at orChard

2006-01-15T20:52:00.000+08:00

Well, after so long, finally have e chance to go out with Huiyin. After 1 yr plus after we left JSS. At firs when we board e MRT, we have some chat bout e past. Ya, laughing at our childishness in e past. Last time we still young, we realli don like MS Chua, tink tt she realli picks on e few of us, budden when we look back, we found out tt its onli MS Chua wans e best out of us. N we realli missed e time we trained together. Den chatted bout Mr Ching. Den we noe tt hw disgusting he is. E tot of him realli makes me puke...Eeeee
Den we went CK Tang to have a walk. Pondering on hw to help HuiYin spend her 100dollars voucher. She realli tried on to lots of clothes n lots of pair of shoes. Initially she wans to buy a pair of Levis jeans budden she still needs to top up $30+ n she feels e pinch n don feel lyk buying again. We shopped there for bout 2 hrs n yet we came out with bare hands. CK Tang stuff is realli expensive! Compare to e stuff tt i normally buy, e price is realli, WOW!!
Den we went KFC to have our lunch cum dinner. There we chatted again. Chat bout hw we worry yiwei on nt concentrating her studies all these. Shes realli those who wont c far future but onli e present.
Den we shopped n walk ard at far east. I seriously wanna buy some top for myself, best to b tube tops. But its either not nice or too pricey. Don realli found anything i like. We onli left 1 hr so we cn onli rush here n there. Finally after some time, i bought a necklace at 17.90. I loved e necklace so much though i tink its a lil prob to find matching clothes. But anyway, i loved it alot.
Well overall i loved yesterday n make me forget him for quite sometime. N again makes me feels tt wats impt is e care n concern frm frens. Tts wat i needed nw... So i shall smile all i wan n stop tinking bout stupid stuff...

Results out n Shopping for CNY!! ^^

2006-01-11T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today when im looking in e mirror,at bout 11, May called n say tt POA starts at 12 which means tt it starts 1 hr earlier than usual. I was damn shocked. So me n enting rushed and manged to reach sch nt too late.
When we reached sch, they are already going thru e POA paper. Eve passed me e paper n i say there wrote 91. I am so happy cos i spend quite an effort in POA n getting this result realli makes me happy. SOmemore e teacher say POA get 90 n above is already e firs class liao. U noe i damn happy la. Furthermore cn show off to him..haha. Den get back MAcro, which i oso wish to get over 90% but cannot. I get 15.5 over 20. But gt 2 qns for sure i cn get correct de but due to careless mistake, ><, gt deducted. But on e whole, im quite satisfied with e result liao, esp POA. Im sure i exceed alot of ppl n some of these ppl sure gt take POA before de.
Den me went ginza to meet sis to buy clothes for CNY. Bought 2 top, 2skirt, 1 3/4pants n a roxy belt. Add up wat i bought e other days, it equals to 4skirts, 1 3/4 pants, 3tops. I sure gt plenty of new skirts. All these r for CNY, budden i tink still nt enough tops so i gonna buy more, mayb one or 2 more. Mayb this sat gonna buy em..
Well, today have a great day n talk more to cheryl. So hope tt sooner or ltr we cn talk more n more n more. Yeah.. Hope my results will stay.. Cheers!!!

Sch sTarts aGain..

2006-01-09T20:58:00.000+08:00

Went sch for lesson today. Its e firs lesson after 3wks. Seriously, i don realli have e mood to go sch, furthermore, i slept v late last nite. Slp at bout 2 jus cos some prob crop up in my msn. E emoticons jus wont appear itself. At firs i dunno wat to do so i tot tt jus reinstall everything n it will b alrite le, budden still cannot. Worse still, cnt sign in at all. I have to delete e whole file n reinstall again. I repeat this process thrice. End out i fed up, go check e Tools, n all i need is jus a tick n e emoticons wil show.
Den during lect, eve passed me my belated belated bdae present. But seriously im both moved n shocked. I tot she forgot my bdae but who noes she n bob rmb. Though nt smth ex but still its e tot it counts. Thanx
BMGT tutorial surprisingly is nt much of a boredom today. Though he still craps as usual but still better than e other tutorials compared. Furthermore i finished my presentation today n i have nth to fear anymore. Yeah! Though most of e stuff is nt my effort ><
After tt we went atrium to eat n discuss bout project. We did quite alot of discussion n i tink we sometimes gt too carried away n tink too far away. But have nice time discussing. Den we went on doing some gossiping bout e class. Though didn gossip for v long but i guess still fun. In e middle of everything saw alan walk pass.. going hm. Ha. He gt 90 mrks for 2 paper leh.. wow!! Ou xiang man..if onli when i get back paper on wed i cn show off in front of him.. Haha
Well, Jan told me tt wat shane say to me ages ago is nth but jus a prank by his fren. Well, if realli it his fren den hw come its more than once. Its either hes lying or he have a part in e prank. But since he say tt well, lets jus assume things as it is. I dont realli care much bout him but jus quite pissed by his insincerity.
Well, recently im abit blue. I dunno why but sometimes out of nw where, i will tink too much den make myself v sad. Hope tt everything will smoothen out itself. Anyway, i tink i said tt im gonna find a bf for at least a hundred times nw budden, well, everything is fated. I will wait for my fate..yeah!!

I seriously need trust!!

2006-01-08T19:54:00.000+08:00

Cnt Parents jus trust their child for jus one very moment? Nope, i cnt say its trust, jus dont tink ill of ur child n jus believe em for once. Seriously im tired of telling em tt i noe wat im doing. I will nt let my results flunk. Though u all don c me studying but i noe where my results will b. Dont jus tink tt e results cn b better! I noe when to study n when to nt. If i dont wan to, it jus simply means tt its enough n its time for me to play n enjoy life. Yup, i agree tt im lazy, i may find reasons to slack, but in e firs place u feel tt i wont help, den wat for u ask? If u want me to help u on some stuff, den pls sincerely believe in me. Stop all of ur sacarsm lyk i wont do well for exams or im owas lazy. Well, if tts realli wat u all tink, den let me b, i will keep ur impression! I hate arguing with u. No pt anyway rite?
Went SP last nite to listen to their CO performance, went with cousin, yk n another fren which i tink is named as Ye Xiong. Ye Xiong is realli tall man, he looks like a giant. E performance is nt bad la, most of e songs i lyk budden jus abit too boring. I tink dey shld add a few more items into it, instead of jus plan performance. After tt we went alameen there to eat supper. Ate chicken rice, quite worth it cos e chicken dey give is quite alot. Yk keep calling me xiaomeimei, which in e fact im onli younger than him by one yr ><, den he calls me hand short. Jus tt my im too far frm e tissue tt i cnt grab.
Today at grandma hse play mahjong again. For v rare occasions, I wont quite alot, but if onli tts real $$.
On e whole nt e bad day if onli i have e trust i needed

SHOPPPING!!!

2006-01-04T21:34:00.000+08:00

Went meet cousin for lunch today. Had long John den we went shopping.
Firs of all, we went TS. Well, all e shows seems so nice n i had a hard time choosing. Eventually i pick 2 chinese movie, which is Hei She Hui n SPL. One NC16 n e other one is M18, of course i cnt buy, so i ask my cousin to buy for me. Hey, im nt violent ok, jus tt this 2 shows have quite a high n good remarks, thus i bought them. Im a movie lover k. This 2cds cos me a bomb.
Den continue to shop, bought a skirt at Jennifer n a top at Red2. Yeah, red2 again. U guys noe tt i love e tops there, but its ex, so i cn bought one once in a blue moon ><. Well, one set of this clothes cost me over $5o. Well, nw i onli left with $50 to buy for another set of clothes for New Year. Well, if nt enough, den i intend to fork out my own $$ to buy. Sch needs e clothes too, so no harm buying rite?
Den went hm n watch SPL. Its such a nice movie. Its e movie tt give me a 'WOW!!' feeling. I nearly cnt moved when e shows ends. Evil repays evil. Though its a lil violent, but e action pack movie is realli nice. Hong Jing Bao so old le still cn fight, given his size somemore. Heard tt every fighting scene is they act out themselves de, no replacement of actors. Pro isnt it??
Went Funeral ltr on. As usual i keep folding e joss paper. I at firs dunno wat to say to linnet but ltr on, we shift e topics to something lighter. Well, onli when i arrive e place, i knew tt, all is real. Hw i hope tt suddenly, she cn tell me tt its all a prank, but haiz.
Anyway, have a nice day today. My wardrobe going under a drastic change!! Cya everyone, e clothes wont come out till chinese new yr...

Life, a long, winding n unpredictable journey...

2006-01-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

Many of us should have e same thoughts tt, life, is a long, winding n unpredictable journey. Life n death cn happen at split seconds. A baby alive n kicking, may happened to b out of breath a second ltr. A dead person cn come back to life when her heart stops pumping for 15 mins. Cn e same thing happen to Linnet's father? I realli hope so. I didn manage to c him for even once, i've been dying to c him yet its all too late, n it will b too big a blow for Linnet to dealt with.
Second death in a mnth, both at split seconds, both happening without my knowledge, both appear to b alive n kicking. R e gods realli forcing me to c thru life n find e truth behind it? Yes, Linnet father did have some health prob but hes coping fine with it, but who will expect tt, e third day into e new yr, n hes gone forever? Its e sudden death, n nobody would expect it, but wat will happen to e livings?
Seriously, i did feel lyk crying. I noe its none of my business. But this second death realli make me feel helpless. Hw cn i make Linnet feel better? I cn do nth cos its her father, if she don feel sad bout it den shes inhumane. Its such a natural but sad process tt everyone have to go thru. Helplessness n vulnerability. We noe it, cnt stop it yet when it come, it still hits us badly.
If i'd switch off my hp a few min ltr, i will recieve e msg earlier n i cn flunk my whole paper. But this do makes me guilty cos, im nt there for Linnet, when she needed console n a prsn to confide in.
Hw come all of sudden, i feel tt all hopes is being lost? It feels lyk tt all e hard work n effort we have put in life, will ends at e very moment when your heart stop pumping. Den, e evidence of u living in this world will too b forever gone. No matter hw many wars we have fight, hw many storms we have gone thru, eventually we have to bent our heads when it comes to death. Everything ends when u r dead, a dead body in e coffin n no longer a prsn with name, identity, breathing in oxygen.
Scary Entry again. Sorry everyone cos im realli feeling bleak nw. Need someone, somewhere, some place to vent anger n tts my blog. Nite. May god bless u.

ForBidDen :'(

2006-01-01T21:46:00.000+08:00

After fri bbq, i suffer frm itchness n rashes. Its nt like onli after e bbq den i have e rashes. But i tink im a lil allergic to alcohol :( Till nw e itchness will still occur, but nt as bad as last nite. Last nite i cnt stop scratching. Perhaps, i shld reduce e times n quantity of drinking alcoholic drinks, if nt, stop taking alcoholic drinks.
Frm fri morning, frm e moment we start playing mahjong, we cnt stop. Its realli lyk wat other ppl said bout it, we cnt stop!! I keeps wanting to play though i keeps lossing. We played 4 games in 3 days time. Cn c tt hw addicted r we, besides tt, it kills time too, time pass fast when we r playing tt. At firs we wans to study at grandma hse last nite. But we end out playing mahjong!!
Idiotic Idiotic Idiotic. Somehw i get some peace in my mind liao. I noe wat im gonna do, i noe wat i wan n don wan. I noe tt hes nt e one for me n i tink e feeling is taking its own time to go off. I don wanna anything to happen, jus take time, let me noe him, b frens n theres e fullstop. Wat i tink is tt, though i wans e relationship, but hweva im nt prepared for one yet. Still mentally nt yet mature n im scared!! E phobia is back again!!
Well, its new yr n a time to wish myself some happiness n wait for a guy tt cn make my phobia dissappear to appear. Yeah, n happy new yr to all of u!! ^^

E bbq nite.

2005-12-30T23:54:00.000+08:00

Well, im abit drunk nw, so if anything dont makes sense pls bear with it.
Firsly, i duno wat im tinking. I dunno if realli have i given him up. Though r thought'bring single is oso nt bad' thought is back again n i didn react tt much to his name anymore, but still keeps tinking of him sometimes..Haiz
Today is e long awaited bbq day. In e morning went market with parents. Went to have breakfast n brought e stuff for e bbq. It cost a bomb man, nv noe tt a bbq will cos so much $$. I cn say these few days i tire myself out. Nv have a gd nite n ample sleep. I need tt badly!
Well, when we gt hm, we jus keep on playing mahjong. We start to learn to play. Even if someone game, we need to seek help frm e adults to noe who needs to pay more.
Didn realli eat much, n i didn expect so many ppl to come for e bbq. I jus walk away with cousin n watch ppl play bball, gt some shuai ge there leh..haha. Den ltr on at 10, when ppl went off frm e bball court, me, henry n 4 cousins play match. My team lost badly man. Cos e other team all so tall, even if we jump we cnt intercept e ball ><
Den after tt feels quite down. Drink some beer to make myself drunk. I oso dunno y i nt i a gd mood after all e stuff, but jus don feel gd bout it. Mayb its cos of him, cos of cousin or cos of some other stuff. But anyway, e whole bbq have a nice ending. But due to too much bear, i nw have to stay at hm, n e rest r still downstairs chatting away.
Well, these few days dont realli have enough slp, cos owas last min, its either slp too late or wake up too early. Its lyk we slp at bout 3 smth den wake up at 8 or 7 am. 3-4 hrs slp per day onli. Oh gosh. I tink i tonite realli need a gd nite slp even it mean tt tml i gonna wake up at 1pm.
Well, tml is e last day of 2005. Hope everyone have e nice day n have a nice yr ahead. When ppl having a nice time tml, i will have to study ><>

StuDy StuDy!!

2005-12-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

Went Taman KFC to study yesterday. E environment quite condusive cos v quite. Den cos of this, i manage to finish my POA tutorial. Actually didn expect to spend tt much time on e tutorial, budden who ask me to walk off frm e lect halfway. I actually wanna at least touch e revision for POA de, budden..haiz..nvm, i still have some time. Den went my dad place to eat. Den cousin come my hse n overnight.
We plan to stay up throughout e nite. Cos we waiting for a show at 3, n ends ard 4++. Howeva, we need to wake up early today. So in order for us to b on time, we planned nt to slp. Howeva we eventually fall aslp at 6.30 n wake at 8.45. We r late for an HR plus! Meet my aunt to meet bugis in e firs place but luckily she called us firs. Den we change e meeting time, so she didn realli have to wait long.
Staying up throughout e nite, is definitely nt a gd thing. We r lyk zombies throughout e day, so so so tired, eyes gonna close but we cnt. After we come back frm bugis, me n cousin, immediately head for e bed! Finally some rest.
Jus nw went shopping for some of e stuff needed for bbq this fri, Bought quite alot of stuff. Heavy!! But well, mum bought another pair of new shoes for me!! Hee.. Recently alot of new stuff. Yeah!! Nxt mnth cn shop for clothes oso, cos CNY coming liao. YEAH!!
May all of u have a GD YR 2006 n good end for 2005 ^^.. So high!

Life, a long long journey...

2005-12-22T00:04:00.000+08:00

Today is the 4th day of e funeral. I onli went for e firs day n today. I didn go n tues n mon. Normally went there to help out on e foldings of joss paper. Tml will b e last journey for him. These few days, im so close with death tt i nearly forget tt it shld b a unhappy issue, it shld brought saddness to ppl. I forget e sorrow faster than i tot. Wat im tinking nw is, e dead is already dead. Nw we shld tink tt hw we cn help him complete his last journey n help e living ones to continue with their life. Theres a ironic thing tt i notice these few days. Hw come onli when smth happen, everyone would den appear n gather? Wont it b too late?
Life is such a long long journey. We experience aging, youth, sickness n death.Neither could we control or escape frm death, wat we cn do is onli to accept it. However, hw many of us could say tt we dont fear death at all? If we realli dont fear it at all, den we wont weep for e dead, wont fear dangers n all e stuff, n we wont even b here. Nth is permanent n lasting, eventually, death awaits us. Onli when we come in contact with death, everything doesnt matters anymore n bcom e purest of all.
This particular funeral did make me think alot. Im thinking for e worse. If tt is my parents funeral, wat would i do? Would i cry even more bitterly than wat i did a few days ago? Hw come our dearest have to leave us? Im nt a saint, i admit tt i haven even learnt hw to face death. This few days e close contact with death did make me fear death while on e other hand, death doesnt seems so fearful anymore cos at e funeral, theres no saddness no maddness onli peace. Hw contridicting isnt it? Well, humans r, n they will forever remain e same.
Quite a long n naggy entry tonite cos all these r jus simply my reflections over these few days. Tml is e last journey we cn accompany him n i realli hope it will b a good journey for all of us. It will b e end of his journey on earth, an another part of journey for e rest of all. Nite everybody. May all of u have a good year ahead

y so SaD??

2005-12-19T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today went sch to study for e coming common test. Shld start studying de but dunno y end out no studying. Saw Han Loon, i tell him tt i come sch to study. I tink i left an impression to Han Loon tt im actually v hardworking cos e Wcom porject he oso tink i do alot. But actualli no la, i nt v hardworking. Den went e bakery there bought Tuna Melt, yummy. Cousin say its nice oso. Haha. After tt went PS with cousin to eat ice-cream, cookie n cream, nw my favourite flavour. Yum Yum again.
Went hm, sit down there tink of some past. Den nite chat with him. He sounds so sad when i ask him y his nick 'those days will soon no longer b ard'. He tell me its time to get serious all e stuff. Den ask me if cn choose 2 life style wat will i choose. Den say wat his bdae is a disaster day, have no bdae cake for 2 yrs liao. Hear le i oso sad. Nxt yr im giving him a bdae cake. I wanna ask him y he suddenly tink lyk tt, but feel tt i in no position to ask anything, so i didn ask. But jus hope tt he is happy n don feel sad.
Ltr we continue chatting on other stuff. Like sch work n ghost stuff. Feels tt he mood mayb bcom better after tt. Hope tt i realli bring some gd mood to him. Cheer up! BB

An extreme feelings day..

2005-12-18T23:53:00.000+08:00

18/12, its my bdae. Recieved blessings frm la few ppl. Jus a simple ' happy bdae' can make my day. Thanx to those who have make my day.
Stay overnight at grandma hse, so i spend my bdae at my grandma hse. All my cousins keep teasing me, say wat give blessing to me n him. Den elder bro bought so alcholic drinks n let me have e chance to choose wat flavour i wan. Hee. But being e bdae gal is nt such a nice thing after all cos, i have to b gana hit for over 80 times, so painful.
Den evening tt time, mum bought a cake for me. Howeva before tt i recieve a super bad news which make me cry. My granduncle died e same morning at 7am. Imgaine hw sad i am! Though hes my granduncle, but we r quite close. Since young, i have gone out with him to all sort of places n he treats me quite well too. E sad thing is, when hes sick, i didn manage to visit him once, nt even once. I cried, n cousin they all r shock.
Few min ltr, its time to cut cake. Cn c they tried all their might to sing Happy Bdae song to me to make me happy. Im touched. Seriously.
Well extreme of moods today. N i realli dont wish to c anyone leaving me. Hope tt this kind of bdae wont happen to me again

Had fun screaming...

2005-12-14T09:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went sch onli for e BCA reviewing, i tink its a disaster, doom i cn say so. Rush here rush there jus to print e student reflection form..Haiz
After tt went for dinner with bro n cousins at Mac. Enting went oso. Sit theere have some chat. Nt realli a chat la, cos most of e time im ganna Suan. I so sia suai in front of enting la, all e stuff bout him!
After tt went walk walk, bought a pair of shoes costing me $24+. I noe shopping again, but e shoe jus simply nice wat. A lil of heels but yet nt so high till tt my leg will ache n sore after a few walks. Furthermore gt discount leh. Anyway i aimed another shoes le, will buy it nxt mnth.
Den went pasam malam again. Played e ride twice. FOr e second time, im already immune to e ride le, jus keep on shouting n screami ng for fun. Damn high man. After tt went to buy some food n a new pillow. Wow! Imagine, my mum spend bout 200 at e pasam malam. Tts alot!
After tt all went hm. 7kids in e hse, soooooo noisy. Dad brought supper hm, chilli crab n all e stuff- fattening><>
Anyway, i jus annouced tt im gonna give him up. Cnt realli get along with him, no common topic. But y do i keep seeing him?? Haiz..its owas lyk tt.
Overall, last nite is a nice nite. Had fun n some chatting with sis. Bye!!

DisaPpoiNtEd but ShOpPing sPreE

2005-12-12T20:06:00.000+08:00

Went sch as usual, at 9 am. Today saw him twice. Once at e lift near engineering blk. But he didn c me, back facing me. Didn expect to c him tt time cos rushing for lect. Lecture halfway, i gt so bored n walked away during break. Chatted with enting at canteen 2. I keep contributing ideas to her on hw to overcome stuff, but i guess all nt gd idea, i nt position to tell her wat to do. Den went lib. Stay there for nt even for 10 min i come out n buy lozenges. Due to accident, cnt return to lib, waited outside Coop n saw him coming out frm e same place. He saw me this time, smile n wave to me. Enting say e smile v ugly. Haiz..After tt saw Sherman.
By right today is go out to early celeb bdae de but Sherman cnt make it den cancel, change to sushi with family. Disappointed..i tot i cn c him in a day for e third time. I dress for e occasion le, but nvm, at least he manage to c me, cn c wat im wearing, nt wasted.
Eat sushi at CCK. Spent alot of money there, i tink bout 110+. Bought 2 top one bottom, all quite nice, n one bag for my bro. I heartache. This mnth cn eat grass le. Mayb a gd way to vent my disappointment?? But anyway so long nv spent le, bdae coming oso, mus buy myself some present, so shld b ok.
Overall today is quite a nice day except for e sickness in me. Sore throat, running nose, feels so terrible. Hope i will get well soon

A gd Fri

2005-12-12T00:36:00.000+08:00

Another week has passed. Fri was quite a gd day. After LMS lesson, rush off to meet linnet. We go crystal jade to have dinner and have a lil chat. After went pasam malam with cousinS. Went for those exciting ride budden im getting lousier. Feels lyk puking after 2 rides..Haiz. However, its a gd for me to vent my mood, as an excues to shout n scream. After tt went to buy some puzzles. 1000 slamdunk puzzle, spent 3days or 2days to b exact to complete it. SlamDunk again is to make up for e old one tt had spoilt. But anyway, after completing e puzzle, e sense of satisfaction is v great. Happy ^^
But frankly speaking, when playing e rides, hw i hope there is someone to pei me.haha. Did he find out everything? Did sis make it so obvious? I certainly hope nt. I don wish him to find out so early either. We still takes time. Anyway, i don realli noe much bout e relationship, some stuff somehe i cnt help alot. But i cn onli say, since its ya heart, den do wat u tink is rite. Smtimes sm stuff there is no need find reasons to justify it, jus follow ya heart. Its better this way.
One more week to e impt day Hope tt everything will b fine.

Im still at e Peak... What is lost is being found

2005-12-09T01:16:00.000+08:00

THeres one gd news and one bad news today.
The good news is tt i found my Student Card!! I lost it last sem in e examination hall n after about 3 months, i found it. Before that my left eyelid keep twitching n im so afraid tt its a disaster. Haa..but sharpe call me ltr on n tell me my card was foun. Imagine hw happy n relieved i am? Lucky i didn go make a new one. What is lost is being found, isnt it great? Nw it means tt, left side is gd luck.
The bad news is, though our grp r done with BCA project, WCOm is due in 19 of dec. Which means that we onli have 1wk5days to go before its due. Doom! Im rushing it nw. Doing e findings, e purpose n methodology of e report. Cos nxt wk i cnt make it on one of the meetings. Doing all these stuff is trying to make up for my abscence. So in e end, no more relaxation for our grp. Jus rush n rush.. still at e peak of e sem. I wan to try finishing my part within e weekend.
Sherman noe its my bdae le, so i guess e seoul garden is cfm on. Tts y i cnt make it on one of e meetings. Nxt sun is my bdae n i have to rush through projects, tts sOooooooo boring. Haiz. Hope tt everything will b fine on e Seoul Garden day. Yawnz! Im tired man, i tink i go slp le. Bye everyone.

Peak of the week.. A better tml

2005-12-07T22:04:00.000+08:00

Today went sch at bout 9 plus reached at 1030. I have 2hr plus of break till 1 pm, so me may n eve decide to go westmall to have lunch since we have so much time to spare. We went to eat some sort of chinese noodles, but all e ingredients in on a plate de, eat wateva u wan to take. But when we order, i suddenly rmb tt none of us eat pig intestine, yet tts e essence of e whole thing. Wasted.
Den finish eating onli 12plus so we take a walk ard westmall. Me n eve each bought a new pair of earrings, nice but abit too ex le. ><>
After sch stress all e way. Do poa, wcom all these. Frm 7 cn busy till nw! Oso scared of tml de wcom meeting, cos i dunno wat to do at all. Peak of e wk man, n i hope tml will b better--much more slack pls!
Tts all for today, hope for a better tml.

Haha days coming??

2005-12-06T20:01:00.000+08:00

Once i reached sch today, called May n.. im told tt theres no lesson. My firs reaction is 'YEAH!' but after a second reaction is 'omg, den i come sch for wat?'. Cos beside tt lesson, i have no more lesson. Tt means i jus come n do project? Den again when we r bout to do project, Rizal help us finish all e stuff already, all we need to do is to ans the qns. I go sch for wat? I oso dunno.
Do project tt time, everyone has smth to do except me. I jus hop here hop there disturb ppl with their work. They mus have find me irritating ><.
Recently i seems to laugh alot n e way i laugh become more n more horrible. E laughter sounds either terrible if nt its lyk devil laughing. ><
Normally when ppl touched hot objects, their instinct or firs reaction would b back away frm e source. Gt this stupid guy, step into burning joss paper still cn stunned n stay there for a few seconds before backing away. In e end this stupid guy ganna injured. Dunno wat to say.
Though i say him stupid but somehw im quite worried for him -- fire leh, mus b badly burned. May he get well soon. ><
Tts all for today. Nt a bad day except for sm stuff but i guess it will b alrite. Yeah. ^^

Im going to laugh my head off...

2005-12-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

The most boring day of the week because have BMGT tutorial. But surprising, this wk de tutorial past extremely fast. Nxt wk e learning for BMGT, yeah, at least no need c tt idiotic tutor for 4weeks(including e term break).
TOday during PoA lect, we sat behind Perspective(Eve n ting CATS fren). He n he grp of frens, esp one quite noisy, but rather fun oso. What is the best christmas gift? Ans: CHritsmas Tree. I dunno y, but once i heard tt, i laugh till siao, cnt stop! I noe its nt funny. Den in e afternoon, when we r doing project, i jus cnt settle down. Keep making funny noises n do funny stuff --disguising myself into KAKASHI n other ppl. E prob is, ppl don find it funny but onli me n eve find it funny. Laugh till siao again. Realli cnt stop, cn laugh at e slightest provocation. Long time nv laugh till lyk tt le, my face muscles r numb n stomach v pain.
Den eve n ting say Dang(u all shld noe who) say till lyk tt. I noe he look abit qian ta, n ppl keep saying he paikia but actually he is a v nice guy, nt paikia at all. Ppl tt kind of face but still gt a lot of ppl like, so gd..>< Den i discover onr thing tt shock me. U cn c who have been viewing ya profile in friendster. Im gonna b dead man. I view his profile so many times le. DIE DIE DIE.. I dunno hw to face him le. Paiseh leh. Relatioship is either u try once n get e right one or try alot of times den to find tt none suit u?? Jus crap la..haha Donated 2 purple ribbons today. Hope a lil charity here n there cn buy my way through happiness, though its nt even e least bit possible. K, tts al for today. Have a nice day ^^

Wats relationship bout?

2005-12-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

Sigh, today is realli a bad day for relationships. Frens keep having problems concerned by affairs of the heart. Im feeling v uncertain bout relationships nw. A few days before, dey r still so sweet n happy. Make me feel so envious of em but nw, everything changes. I hope e stable ones don change, let it stay pls.
I tink liking him is a gd thing. Ya, sometimes, im totally obsessed with him. Keep tinking of him day in day out. Imagine hw it is like to be with him, with him beside me n all e stuff, i tink its sweet. However for his sake, i tink i changed a lil. For e firs time in life, i felt tt i realli wanna b a kind person, b kind to ppl, to everyone. Once in a while help ppl with their stuff n i don mind sacrificing, wanna grow back long hair, go on diet oso for his sake. Gee, i guess, for him, i changed -- a gd change?
Yesterday saw his ex photo--very pretty. Somehw, i feel tt mayb everything is all my wishful tinking. In anyway, im nt his type. Im nt pretty, cute, gentle n most imptly im nt realli pretty inside. C his friendster testimonials, almost all frm gals., a couple of em seems to lyk him too. I tink i realli no hope le.. sigh..

Peaceful life...

2005-12-01T19:29:00.000+08:00

These few days have been rather peaceful and i like e feeling. Sch, go hm, online den slp. Hw often in life do we get these few peaceful moments? Though today we went hm quite late due to project, but i lyk e peace n pace of life-- nt too fast n nt too slow either. Do a survey early in e morning n i guess i wrote wat i honestly feel though e ans may nt seem v appealing to others. Donated some money today, hope cn realli help ppl. Mayb im trying to buy my happiness through these donations ba. Ha..
I tink i have been to eager for sucess tt sometimes i forget e situation im in. I shall slow down my pace. E feelings nw have tone down n wat i wan is jus to b frens, noe him well firs.
Nw its December le. soon my big day will come. Biggest wish of e yr - don spend any festive season by myself. Yeah!

Jus crap..

2005-11-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

Today went sch for onli 2 lessons n furthermore one of e lesson i hate it to e core--BMGT tutorial. I realli dunno wat to say bout e tutor. He is owas bragging bout his own achievement n each time i feel lyk puking. I guess some classmates don lyk him oso. I dread his lesson every wk. Each wk i wanna pon but cnt, wan pon oso at e end of e sem den pon. After sch went hm n slp..zzz.
Cfm his sister is in e mushroom gang. Wat a pathetic fact to admit.
Heard sis say tt he don mind watching harry potter with us though he have watched it alreadi. 3 possibilities:
1.Harry Potter realli nice
2.Cousin
I reali don wish to tink too much. In e afternoon i go say hi n ask bout his sister. Jus nw he come say hi to me. I dunno if tts sis doing but i realli hope nt. I don mind slow but i jus afriad tt its too fast. I cnt admit tt im happy when he say hi, but jus scared tt everything process too fast n spoil everything. I realli hope im tinking too much again.

Confused again

2005-11-27T20:35:00.000+08:00

Sorry cousins..today my mood nt v gd, quite fustrated i cn say. Thus i keep throwing my tantrum and my temper about.

Confused bout some stuff. Every cousin noe bout xxxx n i dunno hw they noe it. I tink its my traitor brother ba. But hw come at this moment i become so confused? >.<

Have been 4wks since i tink i lyk him. Before sis knew it, im nt v sure bout my own feelings. Since she knew it, she organise alot of chance for me to noe him well. I guess i lyk him more after each meeting. However since last nite, its lyk nw everything have gt nth to do with e smile he gave me tt day, do i still lyk him, or e feelings have gone?

Shld i b happy? When he msg sis bout his hse gt this thingy n say 'u sherman n cousin (me) cn come..' Yup! He mentioned bout me! Sis say she feels quite happy for me too. Howeva, i dunno if i shld b happy with this. Cos im afraid tt im tinking too much. Yup! u cn say its jus frens but im afraid tt this is nt even signalling friendship but jus 'Liting's cousin'.

There r still things tt signals me tt afterall, he take e effort to notice stuff bout me. But is it jus tt he is observant all times? Im afriad tt i keep indulging in tinkings tt i shld nv tot of.

If i wanna list down den this will b a long entry. Bye everybody

Went for dinner n walk

2005-11-25T21:48:00.000+08:00

Fri again. Went sch for IAC n LMS today. LMS presentation was gd n teacher say e video has gd acting n esp me. Ha! e teacher tot tt i am a v quiet person budden it was nt true, somehw true oso. I have 2 sides of me, mus depend on which side n wat mood im in.
Went for dinner at pizza hut with cousin sherman n Lijin. Saw yong sin but he didn c me--sad. Tok n crap quite alot with sherman. Finally naturally we decide to exchange email add. Im gonna add him. Ltr Alan came (he finally manage to find a pair of shorts to wear) but we went separate ways. Guys went shopping emself n gals went shopping ourself.
After tt we meet again, crap again n go hm. But before go hm, finally Alan explained hw i look at him tt day. He didn give me a chance to explain though. I cnt cfm its him wat, den wanna take a closer look to cfm its him oso wat--fierce? Mayb ba..
Den sherman n cousin send me hm. Ha-- There realli isnt a need but sherman e gentleman insist so no choice. Anyway thanz ar. Everytime go out with em wont end up hm early but have enjoyed myself. Hee. Tts all for today. Nite.

Cnt shake off...

2005-11-24T20:53:00.000+08:00

Today e good mood remain till late afternoon. In fact i feel tt me n mummy were extremely lunatic today. We keep playing here n there, keep laughing oso, frm lecture till wcom tutorial, we even play pick-up-stick in class but i keep loosing :( On e whole had fun today--hope tt everyday no need do project, jus keep playing n laughing..muhaha.
E after effect of last nite is super strong. Realli realli wanna c him again. Keep walking here n there in e sch yet i cnt c him at all..abit disappointed, haha. Bcos of him, theres waves inside me even there is no wind --cnt b peaceful at all. N today i am frank with mummy tt after i have a target, all other guys seems nth to b. I dont even bother to take a second look at them even they are good looking or wateva. Shit! I shld nt admit this feeling in e firs place as it grew stronger n stronger each day, im so afraid one day it gt so out of control. Nw i begin to envious mummy tt at least after sch there is someone to meet n to go out with. Hw i hope tt one day will come too.
I wish i wish...

Just in time to blog...

2005-11-23T23:50:00.000+08:00

10 more min to thurs. Today is 23/11/05 n im here to blog.
First thing in e morning i finish my filming for LMS finally. This happy mood keeps me going till afternoon.
After sch at 5, rush hm n have to get to jp by 7 to have dinner n movie--Excorism of Emily Rose, with cousin sherman n alan. Yup, onli e 4 of us, we catch e show at 9pm n end ard 11++.
E show was nice, but realli nt as disturbing as wat eve told me (jus hope tt i wont wake up at 3). Throughout e show, i keep using e jacket to cover my face, n part of my eyes. Alan n sherman keep laughing at this--they find it funny. At least manage to tok to alan la.. tink he noe bout me quite abit as we shop n walk ard. Den all send me hm when i insist tt there is no need for tt. But still appreciate as at least i will nt feel afraid.
Well, e show is basically bout e trial bout wat realli happened to the exorcism of emily. Do you believe in god or do u believe tt devil realli exist? I believe. But nt frm e christian or catholic view but frm my own religion view. E show teach us to fight with our faith, n if we strongly believe it, we will win e race. I dunno if tt will apply to me but i guess i will find my faith soon. Its a nice show but too bad tt i cn onli catch it till nw.
Haha, basically today is quite an enjoyable day for this whole month. I hope tt this good mood will owas b there.

Busy but Satisfaction

2005-11-22T20:07:00.000+08:00

Busy! Busy! Busy! Im busy but im nt stressed. I love being busy cos i cn temporaily nt tink bout him. Jus lyk yesterday, till e end of e day, when i reach hm, den i realised tt.
But this morning cnt help it cos when going to sch tt time we board e same bus. But did he notice tt i am sitting behind him? He wearing tt pink polo tee. Pink dont make he look gayish or wat, cos he gt e look n e build. Sis told me tt he cut his hair.
1st response-- Gt meh..no diff.
N he still dare to ask sis to ask me if he gt bcom more yandao nt.. in fact no, realli no difference. At least this keeps my mood good today--Haha.
Reached sch ard 8 yet i have to wait till 8.20, all late!!! One cn even late for an hr plus. Den one scene cn refilm for 20 over times. Jus 1 min n they took 2hr! Their working speed is realli slow, or they too perfectionist liao. No time yet wants perfect results. Realli feels like screaming. 10 min video, they cn take up to 6hrs to complete..omg!
Went hm, slp n online. Found out tt elective exercise deadline is today n i miss it! Idiotic.. But forget it- Exciting this way, gt e uncertainty feel, dunno wat course i will enter. Muhaha.
Okie, tml going for movie--I hope so. Hope everything run well. BB!

Long time no c...

2005-11-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning went KAP to do e report for LMS and finally we finalise the script and monday we can start e filming. Cut away some scenes in order to save time, n i guess will b finished earlier, hope 4 hrs is enough for e whole script filming process. Den in e script, i suppose to feel sad and cry alot. Omg, who gonna help me at that, im afraid i cannot make it.
Just when im gonna to leave e place at bout 11.30, saw Junjie. So long nv c him le- hes my OGL during the orientation at PJ. V surprise to c him there, n i tink hes surprise too. Just a few days ago, i tink tt i cn nv meet him n another OGL again cos im nv close with em wat... N nw, i saw him at KAP. Wat a coincidence. Also dunno hw to describe a feeling when u met someone tt u have nt met for so long.
For some times i tot tt smth shld nt b mentioned. Reallli. Once e feeling is revealed to others, u jus don feel gd n tend to tink too much. I hope tt im nt being over sensitive for some stuff. Anyway wed is going to watch movie n i hope tt it will b a gd movie. Oso for no reason..Im looking forward to it. N whenever i tink of tt, i feel nervous. haa... Hope tt it wont end out to be a disappointment

Abit being stressed out

2005-11-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

Well, today go sch. At firs i tot is onli for an hr tts y i wear shorts go budden ltr all decide to stay in sch n finish e report. However before we really start, the people went off one by one and I have to stay in sch for 2 more hrs cos waiting for sis. Did some tutorials at e same time.
Den we went westmall to have a walk since so long nv go le. Den go one big round before we reached Gepok. Imagine we took 2 hrs frm Bukit Batok to jurong west!! Sis meet Sherman. Sherman oso expect i will be there. Cos every fri i will meet my cousin, n dunno y eventually, i will meet him..haha. Three of us sit in Mac to have dinner n have some chat but all crap, have some laugh but all of e sudden lyk no topic to tok..feels quite weird.
Den they say this wed go watch movie. Yeah..Excorcism of Emily Rose. Im coming!! Yeah! He oso going la (sis created e chance but actually cos i lyk e movie den i go de hor).. abit look forward budden cn foresee tt i will b left out. Though went movie with Sherman before budden firs time go with e whole gang so.. Haha.
Reached home bout 9 den rush LMS. Edit e script. Den planning when to film e thingy. No we have e video cam but we don have e time. Ppl keep could not making it. Sian Stress Sian. Den trying to do e filiming after sch.. Trying hard to squeeze in all e time we have. Please let us finish it in time.
Anyway, nowadays ppl tt i have not keep in touch for e v long time keep saying tt i have a bf. I have e look ar? Or issit tt my luck is coming?? Dunno la...haha but if i have one.. I tink i will annouce to e whole world so don worry.

??...A bad day? A gd day?...??

2005-11-17T21:01:00.000+08:00

This whole wk like my temper n emotions have gone out of hand. Dunno if its cos of erm e time of e mnth or... Every lil thing seems to edge me up. Everything jus seems to gt out of hand n i dunno hw to get over em, im nearly conquered by em.
Today went for lecture den heard tt we cn apply for another new course nxt yr --Tourism n Resort Management. Im thinking whether to switch course nt, still weighing e pros n cons n dunno if mummy agree to it nt. On e other hand, im interested in econs too, abit nt willing to forsake BS n go to tt course. Wat shld i do i oso dunno. Come as a shock to me.
Nxt shock in e afternoon, Ting tell me tt she tell sis bout tt thingy. N i vent my anger on her. Actually i owas hate e feeling after venting anger, somemore i noe e person meant well. Feel quite sorry n guilty after tt, though i cnt deny tt im still angry.
1. Feels tt its realli impossible with him
2.Feels tt he lyk Sis.
3. Feels tt if anyone interfere, is nt my style.
But anyway, nt another pisces. Cnt escape e fate seh, had enough of tt. Hes e 4th one already!!! Help! Everytime i met a male pisces theres problems. Anyway since ting tell sis le, my burden somehw have been release n feels lighter. At least i no need hide things-- hiding is nt my style esp on this type of issue. I hope everything ends here n no more waves n storm. I hope everything ends peacefully. Thanz Ting, somehw u give me e courage. N welcome Yong Sing officially joined our project grp. Hee.

Stressed?

2005-11-15T20:24:00.000+08:00

Today jus finish doing the LMS script. Quite a miracle that we finish that in 2hr time. LMS gonna due in one and a half week time, still haven film e video. I realli dunno hw we gonna finish it but i guess will b able to make it de cos last time CATS oso lyk this or even more slack. Anyway, ya quite true tt all e work is coming up nw but this time last sem its e busiest time of e sem. I believe tt when have free time den do tutorials, we still cn manage our time de. Cos though e pace of life is nw abit hectic but at least i haven feel e stress. Or mayb cos i already gt used to relaxed even when everything is so tied up and stressed up i still cn find ways to make myself relaxed. Anyway to enting, If anything u dunno cn come ask wat, we will help you de. Den wcom n bmgt e tutorial realli cn don need do de. All cn write,'refer to note, line...'. At least no need do 2 tutorial, have more free time ma.
Recently quite vexed bout e stuff. After fri, cousin n bro keep wanting me to consider Sherxxx. I admit tt inside e misunderstanding i play some part cos sometimes i jus seems too eager to noe smth n have to use Sherxxx to hide. He have no feel for me n i have no feel for him yet they want try smth so funny, esp bee Yxxx n Alxx. Everyone is pestering me tt i shld realli consider. Den last nite i am force to do some serious tinking, but to me, its still impossible btw me n him. If anything shld happen, it would happen long ago n nt till nw den ppl keep pestering us. Furthermore, to me, i onli consider him as a younger bro. I n him are friends lo, somemore its nt lyk he dunno they r talking bout us lo. Nxt time c each other mus b v awkward. Anyway heard tt he change to contact lense. So used to his specs le, dunno in sch c him i will recognise him nt. Haha..we will c

Stupid day, Stupid guy, Idiotic!!

2005-11-11T19:25:00.000+08:00

Today tt time went sch take bus 154 n saw him in e same bus again. Cnt confirm its him cos i onli c his back view n today he look abit fAtter than usual, his hair look more reddish oso, so cnt cfm its him till i cfm with cousin. Cousin said tt yup, he jus msg her oso to tell her tt he say me too. For e whole afternoon im quite happy cos its him, n so qiao.
Today LMS class is nt bad, IAC too. Same class as ChengFang. We in e same grp den we had some chat after e class. Counted as a heart to heart chat cos we talk bout everything, oso bout e gals. N we found out tt actually they give e feeling tt actually they don lyk anyone. Quite happy tt we r in e same grp n have some chat, but paiseh ask u to slack with us too, went off so early jus lyk tt..haha.
After LMS went n meet cousin den we decided to go KFC for some food. She suggested to ask sherman along n i say ok. We went clementi mac to find Sherman. E other 2 guys r oso there(bee yong n alan), but expected la. We waited for em to finish their food den they accompany us to KFC. Along e way, bee yong keep laughing la, n i heard smth v loud along e way, ' tian sheng yi dui long feng pei'. N i gt a feeling they r talking bout me cos beeyong lyk keep looking at me. Cousin seems to noe bout it too cos she too is laughing though shes walking with me. Den when they r gone to ask bout smth, i ask cousin, n she said tt they r lyk talking bout me n Sherman. Im damn sad to hear tt though throughout e whole thing he didn say anything but he jus keep laughing along n... When they come back to KFC, can sense tt beeyong is somehw lyk mocking sherman, n he have no choice but to sit beside me.
Sad sad sad n sad. Damn idiotic. I noe im idiotic too cos i shld nt have wish too much but still feels sad to hear tt isnt it. I dunno hw to describe e feeling but...sigh.. guess tts all bout todays entry.

Gd family Wkend :)

2005-11-06T19:46:00.000+08:00

Last nite went to stay at grandma hse to stay as usual. Recently, esp during e wkends, grandma's hse seems to b getting more n more lively, instead of e normal grandma hse, only 2 lonely elders there plus my aunt. Nw during e wkends, 5 of us will went there n stay, n this no is bout half of our cousins already. We cn sit there, play hrs of poker, watch animation, play gameboy, all seems to b quiet activity but normally, all these activities ended up with noise n laughter. N usually its late into e nite bout 1-2am in e nite. When e younger ones went to slp, its onli left with me n my e other cousin den we continue to chat.
Of course grandma didn accompany us, she went to slp latest at 12 but ha..i guess she mus b happy to c so many grandchildren in her hse n keep her accompany. Den e nxt morning, she will whip up delicious breakfast for us though by e time we wake up it shld b lunch time already. Again, we continue our activities or sometimes we tend to have some chat. In e afternoo, e rest of e cousins will come n we watch tv n jus tease each other. These activities keep going on n on till evening when we had our dinner n went home.
This wk my eldest cousin have came back frm thailand due to army training n e hse seems to b more lively as he is owas e one who start cracking jokes n tease ppl. My grandma fave grand son oso. Seems lyk a v warm family to b in rite? Many ppl had told me tt, they envious me tt my family bond is so close, n im glad bout tt too. Guess tt my worries in e past is abit too redundunt, haha. Cos to everyone of us, we r one big family, we don c ourselves as different families, but on big family, tts y e bond is so close, n most imptly, we try to stay near each other. Haha

Bad day

2005-11-04T19:44:00.001+08:00

Today is realli a v v v bad day man. Bad LMS class, quite a few ppl tt i don lyk in my LMS class. I so envy tt enting has such a fun LMS class. Jealous oso. To think tt such a minor thing cn affect my mood for e whole few hrs, sian..sian sian n sian.
Den go hm with cousin. Saw this particular guy, his smile quite charming..my cousin fren la, haha. V long nv c him le n he changed quite alot but somehw he resemble someone to me, but cnt realli tink who e person . When he wave me gd bye, e smile on his face quite charming. Den somehw or wat, this smile of his disturb me. Disturb my thinking. I oso dunno y, but don tell me tt i lyk tt guy, cos its absolutely impossible. Don wish to involve in this kind of things anymore. Tired n weary of it. Seen so many ppl hurt by e affairs of heart, dead, disapointment, all kinds of feelings inside but mostly negative. Ppl said tt e beautiful moments cn make u feel worthwhile but to me its bullshit cos painful memories cn scar u as deep as u cn imagine.
Sorrie everybody to bore u with this today cos i need somewhere to vent my boredem n anger, my thoughts n my views. Tts for all. Bye

Sch started

2005-11-02T00:34:00.000+08:00

Sch jus started yesterday, went for an 2hr lect, e lecturer speaks lyk kpt man but alot more naggy, cnt tahan man. E holi past faster than i tot, keep staying at hm, together with my cousins, den occasionally went to shop or have or meal or smth. Used to e slacking in holi nw sch reopen, i tink i will go back to my slacking style again. Keep skipping my lect (tml gonna skip one, haha). I tink i said before tt i wan to work hard this sem, budden i tink its nt possible nw. N sorry peeps, yesterday cnt go orchard with u all, cos of e dress code of mine. Promise u all go on mob, to celeb ting bdae k?
One gd news for me is tt shuting gana retain in Pj. Some ppl say i v bad n vicious when i heard ppl gana retain den i still so happy. Erm..i didn do anything in revenge to this particular gal hor. Jus tt in e past she did smth wrong to me. I forgive her, but i didn forget, ever since, i didn wish her to have any happiness cos e wrong she did to me is so bad tt i tink it gave me an impt lesson tt i will nv forget. I didn plan anything against her, but jus tt i don wan her to have a gd life, or her life better than mine. Jus tt..
Finish watching e jin zhi yu nie (war n beauty). I lyk e last episode so much man, most of e ppl died. Some died together as a pair of lovers, while some died having to part each other, n some throughout e show, did not manage to get e person they lyk. I cried so much leh, dunno y cry so much. Mayb cos too long nv cry liao, need to cry to distress.
Yesterday heard tt someone gt a new stead, n feel happy for her, finally letting go n welcoming smth new in her life but mistook my Gd luck as a kind of cursing. So bad. While on e other hand, heard tt my nt so close fren gt dump cos, cos tt guy toy with her feelings. N i am v puzzle tt y someone so smart lyk her cn b a third party n tt guy actually don wana break with his gf, n she willing to stay by his side, n nw she gt dump!! Sigh, wat kind of world is this. Some wana forget n cnt forget. N some cn toy with ppl feelings jus lyk tt.
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Loosing faith in guys n love. True love?? I have my doubts

Heartache.. who cn cure??

2005-10-07T21:56:00.000+08:00

Today is e 7th of october, e day tt i realli shift into this hse. Unpack everything e whole day, tiring, but its nth compared to what i feeling nw.
My bro spoil e music box tt i treasure it so much. One year ago, my sis spoil it n i cried over it for hours, n this time i dunno hw long am i going to get over it. This is a gift for my birthday 4 yrs ago, when im bout sec 1, i kept it for so long n i lyk e music so much, n nw its gone...
Tt is frm my bball team, though it don cost more than 20 dollars frm a grp of 11 ppl, but its e tot n memories tt don make me wanna throw it away when my sis spoil it last yr. I still rmb tt we r so united as e team n we achieve wat others cnt n prove wat ppl tink of us is utterly wrong. E team is so united, im so happy when being with em. Nw, e box is utterly spoil, beyong repair, it makes me feel tt e yr is over, everybody grown up n nth would bring us back to tt yr again
I treasure it so much cos, when we r sec 2 when e national competition is over, when we joined e B girls, e whole team jus disintergrate into different teams as e seniors have been a v big influence to us.
This music box marks e happy days in sec life, n i don wish to loose. Last yr, i keep it nt in e v secure place, it spoil by my sis i have nth to say, but this time, i keep into e cupboard n still it is spoil. What cn i say? N e main prob is i cnt find e second one anymore, nth cn replace e box anymore. E heartache is so painful, but it jus could nt stop... Cn someone cure heartache or bring me back to sec1?